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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 535179" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thank you all for your input. And for your views of Waldorf/Steiner. I do know a bit about these schools already as my mother taught in a Steiner school, my sister went to one, sent her daughter to one, my brother's two kids have been at one all their school career. There are mixed views about them, of which I'm well aware. The bullying of other kids not being stopped by teachers is a common complaint. I have no problem, personally, with Rudolf Steiner's religious views or with anthroposophy, broadly speaking. I value <em>anything</em> that sees children and childhood as containing something wonderful, something of value to be nurtured and appreciated. I also accept that the temptation is to get too rosy eyed about this.</p><p>Trouble is, I don't know exactly what is going on for J. He has started saying "no one wants to play with me". I think this is him being dramatic and intense. I always see him playing with other kids at school and he talks about playing with his group of friends. No-one can force anyone to play with a child they don't want to and I;ve tried talking to J about that; at the same time, this boy is quite deliberately nasty to J and I've seen examples of it. I think this is tapping into MY fear about J being an outsider and excluded because of all his differences... and he IS different, in so many ways. </p><p>I'm not hostile to the school, ktllc, I'm just very lukewarm and not deeply enthusiastic about conventional schooling here. I think you're quite right, I'd find it easier to work with a school whose values I did feel more receptive to and identified with. Where is that school?! Homeschooling not an option and I would not be able (even if I wanted to) to give up my work to home school - J DEFINITELY needs the social outlet of school. </p><p>I fear running away and teaching him that when things get difficult, one leaves... at the same time, part of me is longing to work with a system that I respect more fully and which I believe (am I right?) would be more wholesome and nurturing to J. He is definitely beginning to see himself in a negative light, to have a very poor self image, because of the way he is seen by the teacher and the other kids, who often tell him he is naughty... And if it weren't for my stubborn insistence that J speak fluent French, we could be in the UK with SO many more options. I dunno... Where is perfection, please tell me (I've looked round lots of corners now and it just ain't appearing <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />)</p><p>Oh - and J's opinion is not really very solid or reliable, I think. Mostly he says he wants to stay, sometimes he says he hates the school and today (for the first time) said he doesn't like anyone in it!! But all this will change again tomorrow. He is definitely conflictual in his relations with other boys... I think this is going to get harder and harder for him. What school system, if any, would help him improve his understanding of what he needs to do to get on well with other kids, to make friends and keep them? THIS is what I want in a school, not the academic stuff.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 535179, member: 11227"] Thank you all for your input. And for your views of Waldorf/Steiner. I do know a bit about these schools already as my mother taught in a Steiner school, my sister went to one, sent her daughter to one, my brother's two kids have been at one all their school career. There are mixed views about them, of which I'm well aware. The bullying of other kids not being stopped by teachers is a common complaint. I have no problem, personally, with Rudolf Steiner's religious views or with anthroposophy, broadly speaking. I value [I]anything[/I] that sees children and childhood as containing something wonderful, something of value to be nurtured and appreciated. I also accept that the temptation is to get too rosy eyed about this. Trouble is, I don't know exactly what is going on for J. He has started saying "no one wants to play with me". I think this is him being dramatic and intense. I always see him playing with other kids at school and he talks about playing with his group of friends. No-one can force anyone to play with a child they don't want to and I;ve tried talking to J about that; at the same time, this boy is quite deliberately nasty to J and I've seen examples of it. I think this is tapping into MY fear about J being an outsider and excluded because of all his differences... and he IS different, in so many ways. I'm not hostile to the school, ktllc, I'm just very lukewarm and not deeply enthusiastic about conventional schooling here. I think you're quite right, I'd find it easier to work with a school whose values I did feel more receptive to and identified with. Where is that school?! Homeschooling not an option and I would not be able (even if I wanted to) to give up my work to home school - J DEFINITELY needs the social outlet of school. I fear running away and teaching him that when things get difficult, one leaves... at the same time, part of me is longing to work with a system that I respect more fully and which I believe (am I right?) would be more wholesome and nurturing to J. He is definitely beginning to see himself in a negative light, to have a very poor self image, because of the way he is seen by the teacher and the other kids, who often tell him he is naughty... And if it weren't for my stubborn insistence that J speak fluent French, we could be in the UK with SO many more options. I dunno... Where is perfection, please tell me (I've looked round lots of corners now and it just ain't appearing :)) Oh - and J's opinion is not really very solid or reliable, I think. Mostly he says he wants to stay, sometimes he says he hates the school and today (for the first time) said he doesn't like anyone in it!! But all this will change again tomorrow. He is definitely conflictual in his relations with other boys... I think this is going to get harder and harder for him. What school system, if any, would help him improve his understanding of what he needs to do to get on well with other kids, to make friends and keep them? THIS is what I want in a school, not the academic stuff. [/QUOTE]
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