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I *really* need some help here
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 265132" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>First of all, he doesn't live with me so I have no control over his access to his medications; nor to his rules and responsibilities. When he is at my house, that is different and he does have to follow my rules. Period. He also knows if he takes off in my car that I'll report it stolen. It is also not up to me to violate him; that is his mom's call. If you tell him he can't do x,y, or z, he'll just take off. He'll have a friend pick him up in the middle of the night, he'll walk, he'll call a cab (how they can pick up a minor, I don't know). The only option at that point is to violate him and his mom doesn't seem to be in that place yet. I am extremely limited on what I can do. It is incredibly frustrating for me because I would be violating him and/or reporting him as a runaway every time. Even the state couldn't control him until they put him in a lockdown facility.</p><p></p><p>I do realize that the medications aren't right, but I do not think I'm minimizing the effect that has on his behavior. I've known this kid for 10 years. </p><p></p><p>Not only does he take off and do whatever he wants, abuses drugs and is now apparently selling them, he starts to set up someone else to take the fall BEFORE he does this. It is planned, not impulsive. He was working on having his younger brother take the fall for his missing adderall 2 weeks before they 'disappeared'. That is not impulsive. That is planned. And all the while he was saying what everyone wanted to hear knowing full well what he was intending to do.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what else to do with this kid. And to be honest, being in the position where I can't do anything and am just expected to be part of his support system....I don't think I can do that anymore. Not until everyone is on the same page because I'm left feeling frustrated and helpless and can't really do anything until after he decides to come home. And then it's just lies, lies and more lies.</p><p></p><p>He won't take my calls right now because he knows I'm 'annoyed' (his word and a huge understatement) with him. His mom has just gone and retrieved him. I'm sure he's high. </p><p></p><p>I can't just sit around and worry and wring my hands and then be expected to be there to support him. I just can't do that. Maybe that makes me a bad person and I'm sure I'll carry a lot of guilt about it. But being in a position like this...I just can't do it.</p><p></p><p>I apologize if I sound angry, but I am. I'm angry and frustrated and feel like I don't have any control of this situation myself. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for the support and thoughts. I continue to carry hope that medication changes will help. But, I'm also realistic. This kid flat out does not care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 265132, member: 7083"] First of all, he doesn't live with me so I have no control over his access to his medications; nor to his rules and responsibilities. When he is at my house, that is different and he does have to follow my rules. Period. He also knows if he takes off in my car that I'll report it stolen. It is also not up to me to violate him; that is his mom's call. If you tell him he can't do x,y, or z, he'll just take off. He'll have a friend pick him up in the middle of the night, he'll walk, he'll call a cab (how they can pick up a minor, I don't know). The only option at that point is to violate him and his mom doesn't seem to be in that place yet. I am extremely limited on what I can do. It is incredibly frustrating for me because I would be violating him and/or reporting him as a runaway every time. Even the state couldn't control him until they put him in a lockdown facility. I do realize that the medications aren't right, but I do not think I'm minimizing the effect that has on his behavior. I've known this kid for 10 years. Not only does he take off and do whatever he wants, abuses drugs and is now apparently selling them, he starts to set up someone else to take the fall BEFORE he does this. It is planned, not impulsive. He was working on having his younger brother take the fall for his missing adderall 2 weeks before they 'disappeared'. That is not impulsive. That is planned. And all the while he was saying what everyone wanted to hear knowing full well what he was intending to do. I don't know what else to do with this kid. And to be honest, being in the position where I can't do anything and am just expected to be part of his support system....I don't think I can do that anymore. Not until everyone is on the same page because I'm left feeling frustrated and helpless and can't really do anything until after he decides to come home. And then it's just lies, lies and more lies. He won't take my calls right now because he knows I'm 'annoyed' (his word and a huge understatement) with him. His mom has just gone and retrieved him. I'm sure he's high. I can't just sit around and worry and wring my hands and then be expected to be there to support him. I just can't do that. Maybe that makes me a bad person and I'm sure I'll carry a lot of guilt about it. But being in a position like this...I just can't do it. I apologize if I sound angry, but I am. I'm angry and frustrated and feel like I don't have any control of this situation myself. Thank you for the support and thoughts. I continue to carry hope that medication changes will help. But, I'm also realistic. This kid flat out does not care. [/QUOTE]
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