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I saw my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759992" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless</p><p></p><p>Look, helpless. the first thing to do is go lie down and cry. Shut the door and put some music on. And just try to get back to baseline inside of yourself. I know how that feels like in me, but I don't know how to explain it. Deep breathing down deep into your stomach, until it fills your chest all the way up and then slowly let the air out. All of it. Slowly. Keep doing that and you should start to feel a little bit whoozy. </p><p></p><p>I would try to stay out of husband's way for 20 minutes or so until everybody calms down.</p><p></p><p>I will just type this out as it comes. Please know how much I care and how much I understand all too well how you must feel. </p><p></p><p>The first thing is that your husband is on your side. He's been at your side through all of this. I believe his heart hurts too, it's just he holds and expresses the pain differently. I don't think he meant to yell at you. He was just beside himself with the same pain you're feeling, too. I know that inside he wanted to help your son, too. He must be just all tied up in knots.</p><p></p><p>Of course you want to offer your son shelter and protection. The thing is that your son brings trouble and risk and danger to your home and family. As long as there is the fear of gang retaliation, with young children I don't see how you can take the risk. </p><p></p><p>Although your son is still so young, he was wrong to come to the house. But my son is so much older and he seems to be unable to see either how his behavior affects me; and to be honest he seems indifferent to the consequences, too.</p><p></p><p>There is a silver lining here. Your son in his way is making baby steps. He's trying to help himself by seeking work. It seems as if he was calm. </p><p></p><p>I kind of wish your son had a phone, but there is no way to assume that he wouldn't use it to get into more trouble. </p><p></p><p>I think this is the time for you to rest. This is not your fault, Helpless. And it's not your husband's either. Your son just has a very hard head but the other side of the coin is that he is strong, strong person--a survivor--a leader--he's got a great deal of potential on the other side of this. Trust me, please. I know this. I know things. </p><p></p><p>You are okay, helpless. You will be okay. Please stay close to the board. I will check in tomorrow morning.</p><p></p><p>Love, Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759992, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless Look, helpless. the first thing to do is go lie down and cry. Shut the door and put some music on. And just try to get back to baseline inside of yourself. I know how that feels like in me, but I don't know how to explain it. Deep breathing down deep into your stomach, until it fills your chest all the way up and then slowly let the air out. All of it. Slowly. Keep doing that and you should start to feel a little bit whoozy. I would try to stay out of husband's way for 20 minutes or so until everybody calms down. I will just type this out as it comes. Please know how much I care and how much I understand all too well how you must feel. The first thing is that your husband is on your side. He's been at your side through all of this. I believe his heart hurts too, it's just he holds and expresses the pain differently. I don't think he meant to yell at you. He was just beside himself with the same pain you're feeling, too. I know that inside he wanted to help your son, too. He must be just all tied up in knots. Of course you want to offer your son shelter and protection. The thing is that your son brings trouble and risk and danger to your home and family. As long as there is the fear of gang retaliation, with young children I don't see how you can take the risk. Although your son is still so young, he was wrong to come to the house. But my son is so much older and he seems to be unable to see either how his behavior affects me; and to be honest he seems indifferent to the consequences, too. There is a silver lining here. Your son in his way is making baby steps. He's trying to help himself by seeking work. It seems as if he was calm. I kind of wish your son had a phone, but there is no way to assume that he wouldn't use it to get into more trouble. I think this is the time for you to rest. This is not your fault, Helpless. And it's not your husband's either. Your son just has a very hard head but the other side of the coin is that he is strong, strong person--a survivor--a leader--he's got a great deal of potential on the other side of this. Trust me, please. I know this. I know things. You are okay, helpless. You will be okay. Please stay close to the board. I will check in tomorrow morning. Love, Copa [/QUOTE]
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