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Substance Abuse
I saw my son
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 759999" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Helpless,</p><p></p><p>I do allow my sons into my home "now", on my terms. Things are not perfect but they both have places to live and have made "some" steps forward and then some steps back. But I do recall a time (and I have it journaled) when younger son a couple years ago parked outside my home in a blizzard and called to tell me he needed to stay there because the plows kept making him move (I live on a dead end so they didn't come down so often). My heart was broken in two at the thought of him outside my door but I could NOT let him in at the time. I knew if I let him in for the night I could never bring myself to get him out and it would have been destructive to all the improvements in my life I had made. My higher power gave me the strength but it was not easy. I cried and I cried. I so wanted to let him in and make him warm and keep him safe. </p><p></p><p>So I understand your heartache. We want to shelter them, keep them warm, feed them and let them know we love them but to some degree doing that brings them right back to square one. For some of our kids, being at the bottom of the barrel is the only way they will see that they need to change. It is heart wrenching for us so please hang in there and know you're in my prayers.</p><p></p><p>With regards to your husband's anger. I just heard someone that described "anger" and they said think of of it like an iceberg. You're only seeing 10% of what it's really about. All we see is the anger being exhibited but really underneath (like and iceberg) are all the emotions making up 90% of what that anger is about...fear, sadness, hurt, pain etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 759999, member: 23405"] Helpless, I do allow my sons into my home "now", on my terms. Things are not perfect but they both have places to live and have made "some" steps forward and then some steps back. But I do recall a time (and I have it journaled) when younger son a couple years ago parked outside my home in a blizzard and called to tell me he needed to stay there because the plows kept making him move (I live on a dead end so they didn't come down so often). My heart was broken in two at the thought of him outside my door but I could NOT let him in at the time. I knew if I let him in for the night I could never bring myself to get him out and it would have been destructive to all the improvements in my life I had made. My higher power gave me the strength but it was not easy. I cried and I cried. I so wanted to let him in and make him warm and keep him safe. So I understand your heartache. We want to shelter them, keep them warm, feed them and let them know we love them but to some degree doing that brings them right back to square one. For some of our kids, being at the bottom of the barrel is the only way they will see that they need to change. It is heart wrenching for us so please hang in there and know you're in my prayers. With regards to your husband's anger. I just heard someone that described "anger" and they said think of of it like an iceberg. You're only seeing 10% of what it's really about. All we see is the anger being exhibited but really underneath (like and iceberg) are all the emotions making up 90% of what that anger is about...fear, sadness, hurt, pain etc. [/QUOTE]
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