Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I stink at step-parenting
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 117181" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Back when mine were 8 and 10, difficult child was really starting to have bad rage attacks and even though I lost it, I had the niggling feeling in the back of my head that it was more than just difficult child being resistant and so I tried to tailor my parenting styles to suit the family as a whole. H hated that and only became more stern and rigid with her - I thought I hated him at times. It was awful. I sought counseling because, surely, I was doing something wrong...why was my older daughter so easy and this one so out there?!</p><p></p><p>When the counselor, bless her, heard our story she completely revamped our goals for counseling and she put us through this step-parenting program that she designed through the research of many other resouces. Anyway, she really helped us a lot. I wouldn't say it was perfect after that by any means, but it definitely helped us A LOT. H was able to vent about his feelings, me mine, the girls theirs. She advised us to have family meetings, which H hated. But we had them every other week and they were, for the most part, a productive and 'safe' way for everyone to be heard and have their feelings acknowledged and respected. I think my H had trouble coming across as vulnerable, something he's much better at now.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my suggestion falls in line with what the other posters have already said. Talk it out. If you cannot talk it out with one another, bring in a 3rd party to act as mediator. Not someone who will say anything about either of you being right or wrong...but someone who will help each of you acknowledge the other's feelings in a safe, calm setting. You may never agree on the 'right' way of parenting, but at least you will know the other's perspectives and understand what it is about parenting your styles that throws the other off, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>If you seek a counselor for help, find one who has experience dealing with step/blended families. Our counselor told us that step/blended parenting is one of the most difficult ways in which to raise a family. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and good luck~with some communication and a little compromise on each end, things should get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 117181, member: 2211"] Back when mine were 8 and 10, difficult child was really starting to have bad rage attacks and even though I lost it, I had the niggling feeling in the back of my head that it was more than just difficult child being resistant and so I tried to tailor my parenting styles to suit the family as a whole. H hated that and only became more stern and rigid with her - I thought I hated him at times. It was awful. I sought counseling because, surely, I was doing something wrong...why was my older daughter so easy and this one so out there?! When the counselor, bless her, heard our story she completely revamped our goals for counseling and she put us through this step-parenting program that she designed through the research of many other resouces. Anyway, she really helped us a lot. I wouldn't say it was perfect after that by any means, but it definitely helped us A LOT. H was able to vent about his feelings, me mine, the girls theirs. She advised us to have family meetings, which H hated. But we had them every other week and they were, for the most part, a productive and 'safe' way for everyone to be heard and have their feelings acknowledged and respected. I think my H had trouble coming across as vulnerable, something he's much better at now. Anyway, my suggestion falls in line with what the other posters have already said. Talk it out. If you cannot talk it out with one another, bring in a 3rd party to act as mediator. Not someone who will say anything about either of you being right or wrong...but someone who will help each of you acknowledge the other's feelings in a safe, calm setting. You may never agree on the 'right' way of parenting, but at least you will know the other's perspectives and understand what it is about parenting your styles that throws the other off, Know what I mean?? If you seek a counselor for help, find one who has experience dealing with step/blended families. Our counselor told us that step/blended parenting is one of the most difficult ways in which to raise a family. Hugs and good luck~with some communication and a little compromise on each end, things should get better. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I stink at step-parenting
Top