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I think I got played - and couldn't care less. About the grandpa's watch
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 563669" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Buddy, I'm sure he honestly does want it all and that is why he played me. But as I said, I don't care the slightest. These are things I'm happy to give him and that I certainly don't think will harm him in any way.And difficult child's determination to make a life for himself will not be diminished by him being able to play me for something small extra at times. Things would be different if he was just drifting, but he is working really hard to achieve his dreams and goals and little motherly indulgent isn't going to ruin that. If he ruins it, it will be for much bigger reasons.</p><p></p><p>After his crash he was in very reduced gifts and handouts policy, because we felt he really needed to experience the sting of what he was doing to his life. We helped him with absolute necessities because first he was a minor and we had to do so by law and then later because he was trying and absolutely needed that help. And from the moment he was able to survive on his own, we withdraw our regular financial help. And we made him survive the public embarrassment of not having things that everyone else did - and most people figuring out why. One of the 'not haves' was even so public he did come up with a lie in a television interview to hide the fact that 'not having' was a consequence of his own bad choices. And of course then had to live with people around knowing he did lie about it. Now that he has earned also that item back (it was his sticker chart reward I wrote earlier), he is certainly appreciating it much more, but he also learned to survive without, that is valuable lesson on itself.</p><p></p><p>When he turned 18, his birthday present from us consisted about socks, underwear, cheap tennis shoes and a used coffee maker (his then room mate had moved out and took a coffee maker with him.) Last Christmas he had been doing well almost a year and we decided to risk it and gave him a new basic laptop (the one we had given him when he left home was really old, he could use it to the very basic and essential things but not much more) which he has taken good care of. After that we have been more generous with gifts and handouts and I have to say that it feels good to be able to do so. To give him things and help I envisioned giving my newly almost adult, on his own, child. And now feeling safe about even indulging him a bit. It's funny how good that feels.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 563669, member: 14557"] Buddy, I'm sure he honestly does want it all and that is why he played me. But as I said, I don't care the slightest. These are things I'm happy to give him and that I certainly don't think will harm him in any way.And difficult child's determination to make a life for himself will not be diminished by him being able to play me for something small extra at times. Things would be different if he was just drifting, but he is working really hard to achieve his dreams and goals and little motherly indulgent isn't going to ruin that. If he ruins it, it will be for much bigger reasons. After his crash he was in very reduced gifts and handouts policy, because we felt he really needed to experience the sting of what he was doing to his life. We helped him with absolute necessities because first he was a minor and we had to do so by law and then later because he was trying and absolutely needed that help. And from the moment he was able to survive on his own, we withdraw our regular financial help. And we made him survive the public embarrassment of not having things that everyone else did - and most people figuring out why. One of the 'not haves' was even so public he did come up with a lie in a television interview to hide the fact that 'not having' was a consequence of his own bad choices. And of course then had to live with people around knowing he did lie about it. Now that he has earned also that item back (it was his sticker chart reward I wrote earlier), he is certainly appreciating it much more, but he also learned to survive without, that is valuable lesson on itself. When he turned 18, his birthday present from us consisted about socks, underwear, cheap tennis shoes and a used coffee maker (his then room mate had moved out and took a coffee maker with him.) Last Christmas he had been doing well almost a year and we decided to risk it and gave him a new basic laptop (the one we had given him when he left home was really old, he could use it to the very basic and essential things but not much more) which he has taken good care of. After that we have been more generous with gifts and handouts and I have to say that it feels good to be able to do so. To give him things and help I envisioned giving my newly almost adult, on his own, child. And now feeling safe about even indulging him a bit. It's funny how good that feels. [/QUOTE]
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I think I got played - and couldn't care less. About the grandpa's watch
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