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I think I know why...
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 421518" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Shari, for a very long, long time, I was a rock. If a crisis happened in the family, I took care of everyone and everything. I was tough as nails. I thought it was because I wanted to be that way---but I now realize, after years of being the rock, that I don't have to fix everything for everyone. My ex was helpless. He couldn't pick out his clothes or order dinner without my input, so I certainly couldn't expect him to handle a crisis. I went back to work 3 weeks after having a C-section, 1 month after a total hysterectomy (during which I bled out and almost died), 1 week after all my knee surgeries, and 1 week after spending a week in hospital for bacterial pneumonia. Why? Because I couldn't count on husband to make things work financially---and well, it was my job to keep everything going. </p><p></p><p>This last year, I have changed. I know longer feel the need to take care of everyone else and put myself last. It has taken time. And it is weird to count on someone to take care of me...to share the load. I'm softening. I feel better, calmer. I'm nicer. I'm happy. I'm no where near where I should be, but I am beginning to trust that I can count on others to pick up the slack...This neck thing showed me that my "friend" is trustworthy. He was my rock. And I knew I could count on him to help me during and my recovery. And the most important part..I let him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 421518, member: 1436"] Shari, for a very long, long time, I was a rock. If a crisis happened in the family, I took care of everyone and everything. I was tough as nails. I thought it was because I wanted to be that way---but I now realize, after years of being the rock, that I don't have to fix everything for everyone. My ex was helpless. He couldn't pick out his clothes or order dinner without my input, so I certainly couldn't expect him to handle a crisis. I went back to work 3 weeks after having a C-section, 1 month after a total hysterectomy (during which I bled out and almost died), 1 week after all my knee surgeries, and 1 week after spending a week in hospital for bacterial pneumonia. Why? Because I couldn't count on husband to make things work financially---and well, it was my job to keep everything going. This last year, I have changed. I know longer feel the need to take care of everyone else and put myself last. It has taken time. And it is weird to count on someone to take care of me...to share the load. I'm softening. I feel better, calmer. I'm nicer. I'm happy. I'm no where near where I should be, but I am beginning to trust that I can count on others to pick up the slack...This neck thing showed me that my "friend" is trustworthy. He was my rock. And I knew I could count on him to help me during and my recovery. And the most important part..I let him. [/QUOTE]
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