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I Think I Screwed Up
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 524150" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I tend to agree with Susie on this one. </p><p></p><p>We heard for years and years that we didnt treat one or the other of them fairly. Cory complained that the older two got to do more stuff alone than he did and Jamie was jealous that Cory got "rewarded" for his bad behavior. We had a really horrible time with Jamie when Cory went to wilderness camp when Cory was 11. In Jamie's eyes that was a huge reward. Here Cory behaved horribly and yet he got to go to camp!!!! He got to go live in a really nice tent in the woods, go fishing and camping, eat in this lovely cabin, boat on a lake, hike in the woods, not go to school, learn wood carving, and all these other fun activities. Oh he was jealous! Cory went off happily with the camp counselor to his group and Jamie was left with us at the car throwing a major class A royal difficult child fit. You would have thought I was leaving the wrong kid at the camp. Jamie acted up at home for about a month trying to get us to send him there. After about a month he asked us when Cory was coming back in this really resentful voice. We told him it would probably be about 9 months to a year. That really got his attention and he straightened back up. Jamie had never spent more than a week away from home and he realized he would never want to stay away that long...lol. He got over it.</p><p></p><p>I think the thing to aim for is fair for their circumstances...not equal. As grandma, I do try to make the Easter Baskets and Stockings and things like that pretty even though they dont all get the very same items. I do buy bags of candy and stuff like that and lay the baskets out in front of me and go...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...and toss in the candy till its gone but then I buy a toy that each kid would like that is different. Keyana is a flip flop freak and sock girl. She got stuff like that. Hailie and Mikey love bubbles and side walk chalk. The Keyana's brothers got little boy toys. Basically same priced stuff but not the exact same thing.</p><p></p><p>Now when my boys were growing up, my stepmom always had to get Jamie and Cory little things like action figure exactly alike but in different colors...or say RC cars but in different colors so they could tell them apart but not say one got more from them. I dont know that they would have but she always did that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 524150, member: 1514"] I tend to agree with Susie on this one. We heard for years and years that we didnt treat one or the other of them fairly. Cory complained that the older two got to do more stuff alone than he did and Jamie was jealous that Cory got "rewarded" for his bad behavior. We had a really horrible time with Jamie when Cory went to wilderness camp when Cory was 11. In Jamie's eyes that was a huge reward. Here Cory behaved horribly and yet he got to go to camp!!!! He got to go live in a really nice tent in the woods, go fishing and camping, eat in this lovely cabin, boat on a lake, hike in the woods, not go to school, learn wood carving, and all these other fun activities. Oh he was jealous! Cory went off happily with the camp counselor to his group and Jamie was left with us at the car throwing a major class A royal difficult child fit. You would have thought I was leaving the wrong kid at the camp. Jamie acted up at home for about a month trying to get us to send him there. After about a month he asked us when Cory was coming back in this really resentful voice. We told him it would probably be about 9 months to a year. That really got his attention and he straightened back up. Jamie had never spent more than a week away from home and he realized he would never want to stay away that long...lol. He got over it. I think the thing to aim for is fair for their circumstances...not equal. As grandma, I do try to make the Easter Baskets and Stockings and things like that pretty even though they dont all get the very same items. I do buy bags of candy and stuff like that and lay the baskets out in front of me and go...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...and toss in the candy till its gone but then I buy a toy that each kid would like that is different. Keyana is a flip flop freak and sock girl. She got stuff like that. Hailie and Mikey love bubbles and side walk chalk. The Keyana's brothers got little boy toys. Basically same priced stuff but not the exact same thing. Now when my boys were growing up, my stepmom always had to get Jamie and Cory little things like action figure exactly alike but in different colors...or say RC cars but in different colors so they could tell them apart but not say one got more from them. I dont know that they would have but she always did that. [/QUOTE]
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