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I think it's time to cut off all ties to my oldest...but scared to do so...
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<blockquote data-quote="AKAnnie" data-source="post: 742062" data-attributes="member: 22641"><p>Good morning, lovely souls... I have read and reread all of your encouraging words and suggestions. They are a balm to my spirit as this is hard, hard, hard. I was angry but for a brief moment for the horror and disgust of learning about the sexual abuse. Now that a couple of days have passed - I am left with a mountain of grief. Grief for my husband and I as individuals and as a couple. Grief for my youngest for what he's had to endure both physically and emotionally. Grief for my daughter. And yes - grief for my oldest. Yowza! It is crushing and I know everyone here has felt it. I thought we were doing everything right. I thought we were doing everything we could. And maybe we were...we just didn't count on the power of will and self-determination on the part of our oldest. Evil is as evil does...and if that is the bent you have, then that is the direction you will go regardless of what external motivators are out there. </p><p></p><p>Been completely focused on making sure we are doing right by our youngest. Although we have filed a police report, next steps are tricky. A crime has been committed and yet oldest currently resides in a different state several thousand miles away. Do we want him extradited and brought back to the state we are living in to be prosecuted? A resounding NO to that! We are checking with the state oldest lives in to see if there is any recourse with them, especially as he is currently on probation for the corruption of minors charge. One step at a time. Youngest will see our psychologist this coming Monday so that is great.</p><p></p><p>Now my questions are these... I don't like anybody right now. I don't want to talk, I don't want to laugh, I don't want to be touched. I am putting on a "normal" face while feeling anything but. How have you guys dealt with the crushing grief? How does a marriage survive? How do friendships survive? I am dry and feel like my entire being is raw and everything and everyone irritates my wound. For those of you that have weathered the trenches and survived - how did you do it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AKAnnie, post: 742062, member: 22641"] Good morning, lovely souls... I have read and reread all of your encouraging words and suggestions. They are a balm to my spirit as this is hard, hard, hard. I was angry but for a brief moment for the horror and disgust of learning about the sexual abuse. Now that a couple of days have passed - I am left with a mountain of grief. Grief for my husband and I as individuals and as a couple. Grief for my youngest for what he's had to endure both physically and emotionally. Grief for my daughter. And yes - grief for my oldest. Yowza! It is crushing and I know everyone here has felt it. I thought we were doing everything right. I thought we were doing everything we could. And maybe we were...we just didn't count on the power of will and self-determination on the part of our oldest. Evil is as evil does...and if that is the bent you have, then that is the direction you will go regardless of what external motivators are out there. Been completely focused on making sure we are doing right by our youngest. Although we have filed a police report, next steps are tricky. A crime has been committed and yet oldest currently resides in a different state several thousand miles away. Do we want him extradited and brought back to the state we are living in to be prosecuted? A resounding NO to that! We are checking with the state oldest lives in to see if there is any recourse with them, especially as he is currently on probation for the corruption of minors charge. One step at a time. Youngest will see our psychologist this coming Monday so that is great. Now my questions are these... I don't like anybody right now. I don't want to talk, I don't want to laugh, I don't want to be touched. I am putting on a "normal" face while feeling anything but. How have you guys dealt with the crushing grief? How does a marriage survive? How do friendships survive? I am dry and feel like my entire being is raw and everything and everyone irritates my wound. For those of you that have weathered the trenches and survived - how did you do it? [/QUOTE]
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I think it's time to cut off all ties to my oldest...but scared to do so...
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