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I think my cleaner is unstable
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 125234" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Robby, I hear you. I'm seriously considering it. </p><p></p><p>He's been a friend of mine since long before he became my cleaner, but he's been my cleaner now for a few years, I'd have a hard time explaining why he's not working out, so suddenly. They have in the past known me to be very flexible where his rostered days are concerned.</p><p></p><p>I would also have to give an explanation to him, AND his wife. I'm not sure what I could say. I've put up with so much inadequacy from him over the years (and they know it) - what could he be doing wrong, that has made me want to ask for someone else?</p><p></p><p>It would also leave me totally out in the cold as regards a cleaner. It's a government agency, we're not allowed to be fussy. If he is all we have, then if he goes we get nothing.</p><p></p><p>mother in law (and a few other people I know) also have him as their cleaner. She would ask awkward questions which I couldn't truthfully answer.</p><p></p><p>I talked to husband - he asked me outright, "Is he a danger to mother in law?"</p><p>At this stage I don't think so. He's generally a very peaceful man, over-the-top with it. Not quite talking to the daisies.</p><p>But the trouble is, whatever is wrong with him is so outside my experience that I just don't know.</p><p></p><p>husband & I tried to track his court case, but with absolutely no luck. I'm not sure how to discreetly find out. I've asked my paralegal friend (via email) but I can't give her his name, I need her to tell me how to find the info for myself. The court details are not able to be Googled. I'm not even certain which court. The fact that it was indecent exposure plus indecent act (he clearly didn't realise the train had CCTV when he decided to pleasure himself - and that to me seems thoroughly out of character too) could mean it's in a different court.</p><p></p><p>I can't even ring our national telephone counselling line for advice - they would know him there, he works for them as a volunteer.</p><p></p><p>As I type this I'm thinking it through. I can see several options:</p><p></p><p>1) When I talk to my specialist tomorrow, he might happen to want to see me on a day which coincides with my housework day. If not, I can 'engineer' it. But not for too many weeks, I need the help.</p><p></p><p>2) At some stage soon, the case will be heard and it's almost certain he will lose his job.</p><p></p><p>3) Alternatively, he will crack before then, and hopefully crack harmlessly.</p><p></p><p>4) I could ring the agency and talk about my concerns, but they will tell him what I said, and that wouldn't be good.</p><p></p><p>5) I could ring the agency and say I need a different day for service, and pick the day I know he is unavailable, and hope I can get a replacement person. I can find good reasons for doing this. It still leaves mother in law and others getting his services though.</p><p></p><p>6) If I cancel the service entirely, I will find it extremely difficult to get back on the roster. Even a lousy service now, is still better than no service, ever. This service is subsidised - going private would cost a great deal more. But I am considering it.</p><p></p><p>As far as his mental health is concerned - I agree, definitely not my job. Never has been. He has talked to me as a friend, he doesn't do this with most other clients, but if I've been out of my depth I've quickly said so and told him to see a professional. (that's when he went to the pastor for marriage counselling - not exactly the best authority in this case).</p><p></p><p>For future weeks when I can't cancel - I'm going to minimise opportunity for him to talk to me. It cuts the efficiency of the service but at least I will feel less stressed by having to interact with him.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow will give me some answers. The doctor; my friend hopefully showing me how to find court records; and I might call another friend, also a client of his, and ask her how he was at her house today. Or maybe I'll drop in on her, she IS the local Avon lady!</p><p></p><p>"Tomorrow is another day".</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 125234, member: 1991"] Robby, I hear you. I'm seriously considering it. He's been a friend of mine since long before he became my cleaner, but he's been my cleaner now for a few years, I'd have a hard time explaining why he's not working out, so suddenly. They have in the past known me to be very flexible where his rostered days are concerned. I would also have to give an explanation to him, AND his wife. I'm not sure what I could say. I've put up with so much inadequacy from him over the years (and they know it) - what could he be doing wrong, that has made me want to ask for someone else? It would also leave me totally out in the cold as regards a cleaner. It's a government agency, we're not allowed to be fussy. If he is all we have, then if he goes we get nothing. mother in law (and a few other people I know) also have him as their cleaner. She would ask awkward questions which I couldn't truthfully answer. I talked to husband - he asked me outright, "Is he a danger to mother in law?" At this stage I don't think so. He's generally a very peaceful man, over-the-top with it. Not quite talking to the daisies. But the trouble is, whatever is wrong with him is so outside my experience that I just don't know. husband & I tried to track his court case, but with absolutely no luck. I'm not sure how to discreetly find out. I've asked my paralegal friend (via email) but I can't give her his name, I need her to tell me how to find the info for myself. The court details are not able to be Googled. I'm not even certain which court. The fact that it was indecent exposure plus indecent act (he clearly didn't realise the train had CCTV when he decided to pleasure himself - and that to me seems thoroughly out of character too) could mean it's in a different court. I can't even ring our national telephone counselling line for advice - they would know him there, he works for them as a volunteer. As I type this I'm thinking it through. I can see several options: 1) When I talk to my specialist tomorrow, he might happen to want to see me on a day which coincides with my housework day. If not, I can 'engineer' it. But not for too many weeks, I need the help. 2) At some stage soon, the case will be heard and it's almost certain he will lose his job. 3) Alternatively, he will crack before then, and hopefully crack harmlessly. 4) I could ring the agency and talk about my concerns, but they will tell him what I said, and that wouldn't be good. 5) I could ring the agency and say I need a different day for service, and pick the day I know he is unavailable, and hope I can get a replacement person. I can find good reasons for doing this. It still leaves mother in law and others getting his services though. 6) If I cancel the service entirely, I will find it extremely difficult to get back on the roster. Even a lousy service now, is still better than no service, ever. This service is subsidised - going private would cost a great deal more. But I am considering it. As far as his mental health is concerned - I agree, definitely not my job. Never has been. He has talked to me as a friend, he doesn't do this with most other clients, but if I've been out of my depth I've quickly said so and told him to see a professional. (that's when he went to the pastor for marriage counselling - not exactly the best authority in this case). For future weeks when I can't cancel - I'm going to minimise opportunity for him to talk to me. It cuts the efficiency of the service but at least I will feel less stressed by having to interact with him. Tomorrow will give me some answers. The doctor; my friend hopefully showing me how to find court records; and I might call another friend, also a client of his, and ask her how he was at her house today. Or maybe I'll drop in on her, she IS the local Avon lady! "Tomorrow is another day". Marg [/QUOTE]
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