Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660578" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I woke up this morning miserable. The thought that he will wander and wander (because he has nowhere to go and no one) made me desolate.</p><p></p><p>We went to where he is staying to find him. We agreed to get together later. He called and my SO went to meet him. They talked things over without me and they both came home.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line what I need from my son is to be connected to him. I think that is what he wants and needs from me. But not at all costs.</p><p></p><p>I would want more, if I could have it. For my son to have goals, and work towards them. To answer questions directly instead of obfuscating everything so I don't know which way is up. I could go on and on but what would it help?</p><p></p><p>I pushed him to college. He stopped. I pushed him to complete Job Corps and a Nurse's Aid program. He worked a year or so. And stopped.</p><p></p><p>I tried to push him out, so that he would have to sink or swim. He sunk. He sought out other people upon who to depend. And got SSI.</p><p></p><p>Nearly always I accepted that my son had limitations and struggles that other children did not.</p><p></p><p>I tried to get the help he needed and we went on from there.</p><p></p><p>What changed was when he became an adult he had the power. It took awhile for me to get it. I think I am getting it, now.</p><p></p><p>So this is the plan, for now. My son is back here. Yesterday he paid to stay a week more in the apartment where he had been staying, but he prefers to be here with us. He can stay as long as he is willing to keep his commitments. That he understands.</p><p></p><p>He still wants to go to the shelter in the other city, but he has not completed the TB protocol in order to enter. He can stay at this shelter for up to 3 months. Then, who knows? But this is up to him.</p><p></p><p>Likewise, nobody has mentioned what happened yesterday around working. But I think he understands that he blew it by not keeping his agreement to work.</p><p><em><span style="color: #ff0080"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #ff0080">UPDATE: Without my saying one thing, it is all arranged between my SO and my son that my son work with him tomorrow all day. On Monday at 8 am my son will leave the house to go to take care of his TB test. After that, we do not know.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #ff0080"></span></em></p><p>In a sense this is the best possible outcome. I kept my integrity when he did not keep his word. We are back together to try again.</p><p></p><p>It gives us a relatively risk-free opportunity to practice being around each other. And try some more.</p><p></p><p>My son is a good person. I cannot say good "man" because he has not reached that level of maturity and may never do so. He is a moral person and a kind person.</p><p></p><p>We will see where we go from here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660578, member: 18958"] I woke up this morning miserable. The thought that he will wander and wander (because he has nowhere to go and no one) made me desolate. We went to where he is staying to find him. We agreed to get together later. He called and my SO went to meet him. They talked things over without me and they both came home. Bottom line what I need from my son is to be connected to him. I think that is what he wants and needs from me. But not at all costs. I would want more, if I could have it. For my son to have goals, and work towards them. To answer questions directly instead of obfuscating everything so I don't know which way is up. I could go on and on but what would it help? I pushed him to college. He stopped. I pushed him to complete Job Corps and a Nurse's Aid program. He worked a year or so. And stopped. I tried to push him out, so that he would have to sink or swim. He sunk. He sought out other people upon who to depend. And got SSI. Nearly always I accepted that my son had limitations and struggles that other children did not. I tried to get the help he needed and we went on from there. What changed was when he became an adult he had the power. It took awhile for me to get it. I think I am getting it, now. So this is the plan, for now. My son is back here. Yesterday he paid to stay a week more in the apartment where he had been staying, but he prefers to be here with us. He can stay as long as he is willing to keep his commitments. That he understands. He still wants to go to the shelter in the other city, but he has not completed the TB protocol in order to enter. He can stay at this shelter for up to 3 months. Then, who knows? But this is up to him. Likewise, nobody has mentioned what happened yesterday around working. But I think he understands that he blew it by not keeping his agreement to work. [I][COLOR=#ff0080] UPDATE: Without my saying one thing, it is all arranged between my SO and my son that my son work with him tomorrow all day. On Monday at 8 am my son will leave the house to go to take care of his TB test. After that, we do not know. [/COLOR][/I] In a sense this is the best possible outcome. I kept my integrity when he did not keep his word. We are back together to try again. It gives us a relatively risk-free opportunity to practice being around each other. And try some more. My son is a good person. I cannot say good "man" because he has not reached that level of maturity and may never do so. He is a moral person and a kind person. We will see where we go from here. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
Top