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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 660708" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Ugh. These are bad times. When our Difficult Child's become desperate they ramp up, and many of them, like your son, are good at what they do. What your Difficult Child does is split and manipulate, and boy, is he good at it.</p><p></p><p>But you know what he does.</p><p></p><p>It gets so confusing, doesn't it? Trying to figure out each infraction, realign the rules and expectations, start over, adjust adjust adjust</p><p></p><p>When my son was at a therapeutic boarding school (for 15 months) they had a rule about being "sketchy". That was all it was. They didn't have to catch the kid, or name the infraction...just if the Difficult Child was behaving in a way that made people uncomfortable, or needed too many meetings, or too many adjustments...sketchy. And that called for privileges being taken away. </p><p></p><p>That was SOOOO helpful to me. I don't have to put my finger on it, argue points, debate, convince. You know when Difficult Child is being sketchy, nad so do I. Sketchy is when it is streessful to be with some one. Your son is being VERY sketchy.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry about SO and the splitting. It is hard to be on two pages. But...you have already dedicated your life to your son's independence and growth, right? and it didn't work. If you could have fixed him with all your love, effort, money, and time...he would be fixed by now. He has to fix himself.</p><p></p><p>I love your SO...I love that phrase. Love the cow, love the veal. What a great way to start the day!</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 660708, member: 17269"] Ugh. These are bad times. When our Difficult Child's become desperate they ramp up, and many of them, like your son, are good at what they do. What your Difficult Child does is split and manipulate, and boy, is he good at it. But you know what he does. It gets so confusing, doesn't it? Trying to figure out each infraction, realign the rules and expectations, start over, adjust adjust adjust When my son was at a therapeutic boarding school (for 15 months) they had a rule about being "sketchy". That was all it was. They didn't have to catch the kid, or name the infraction...just if the Difficult Child was behaving in a way that made people uncomfortable, or needed too many meetings, or too many adjustments...sketchy. And that called for privileges being taken away. That was SOOOO helpful to me. I don't have to put my finger on it, argue points, debate, convince. You know when Difficult Child is being sketchy, nad so do I. Sketchy is when it is streessful to be with some one. Your son is being VERY sketchy. I'm sorry about SO and the splitting. It is hard to be on two pages. But...you have already dedicated your life to your son's independence and growth, right? and it didn't work. If you could have fixed him with all your love, effort, money, and time...he would be fixed by now. He has to fix himself. I love your SO...I love that phrase. Love the cow, love the veal. What a great way to start the day! Echo [/QUOTE]
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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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