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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 598786" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Susiestar - Insane is correct, I was talking about social assistance. I wish I could send the police after him to bring him back or to take him to some sort of treatment facility. Where we live they can live on their own at 16 and there is nothing I can do about it. I have absolutely no say. </p><p></p><p>Barbara - easy child basically thinks Funnybunny is an idiot. She will speak to him shortly sometimes but mostly ignores him. But she hasn't deleted or blocked him from her FB. </p><p></p><p>I know what you mean about things not occurring to you that they affected easy child. I always assumed that most of her anger towards him was because of how he'd treated me and the disruption he'd caused in the family. We talked about that a few weeks ago and that's when a lot of stuff came out about how he treated her, especially when husband and I weren't home or out of earshot. That's where most of her anger comes from. Guess I had my head in the sand and didn't see it. Anyway, easy child doesn't really like to talk about him but she knows I'm always here to discuss anything she needs to work through and she has come to me a few times. If I think something is important I will bring it up to her as well and she can choose to talk about it then or later. She may end up with a therapist next year depending on how things go with her being at the same school he is in (if he is even going to school next year).</p><p></p><p>Star - I've missed you!! Funny that I've been thinking of you lately and wondering where you've been. Thank you so much for posting. You're so right. I'm not ready to shut his phone off. I'm thinking about it but I really can not bring myself to do it. If I could it would have been done by now. And I am very much back and forth on what to do or not do. I have no confidence in this matter and if I'm honest with myself I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing. What if I keep talking to him and drive him even further away? What if I don't talk to him and then one day he wants a relationship but is afraid to call and I'll never know? </p><p></p><p>I just finished reading When Parents Hurt by Dr. Joshua Coleman and he states that I shouldn't stop talking to him because he is too young. That I should communicate in some form or another once a week. He says until they are 30. Maybe that has to do with the maturity issues our difficult child's obviously face. Then after that to only make contact on holidays and birthdays. </p><p></p><p>Then you mix in the possibility that this is most likely mental illness and that fudges my boundaries even more. </p><p></p><p>I definitely think it's time for some one on one counselling. I think I need that more than just the support group that husband and I have been going to. We stopped going a little while ago because we just felt like there wasn't anything more there for us and most of these families have children with drug problems and/or have lost a parent and developed anger and behaviour issues. There isn't a lot of support around children with mental illness. </p><p></p><p>Someone over in General Parenting posted a link to "A Day in the Life of a Bipolar Child". Funnybunny was different as a kid but this article describes him so closely as a teenager it isn't funny. If he is bipolar then it started really emerging at 15. I found the reference to manic episodes in spring/summer very fitting because he has been getting progressively worse as the weather has warmed and the sun has started to shine more - same as last year. If that's any indication I dread the summer because last year was absolute hell.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 598786, member: 14356"] Susiestar - Insane is correct, I was talking about social assistance. I wish I could send the police after him to bring him back or to take him to some sort of treatment facility. Where we live they can live on their own at 16 and there is nothing I can do about it. I have absolutely no say. Barbara - easy child basically thinks Funnybunny is an idiot. She will speak to him shortly sometimes but mostly ignores him. But she hasn't deleted or blocked him from her FB. I know what you mean about things not occurring to you that they affected easy child. I always assumed that most of her anger towards him was because of how he'd treated me and the disruption he'd caused in the family. We talked about that a few weeks ago and that's when a lot of stuff came out about how he treated her, especially when husband and I weren't home or out of earshot. That's where most of her anger comes from. Guess I had my head in the sand and didn't see it. Anyway, easy child doesn't really like to talk about him but she knows I'm always here to discuss anything she needs to work through and she has come to me a few times. If I think something is important I will bring it up to her as well and she can choose to talk about it then or later. She may end up with a therapist next year depending on how things go with her being at the same school he is in (if he is even going to school next year). Star - I've missed you!! Funny that I've been thinking of you lately and wondering where you've been. Thank you so much for posting. You're so right. I'm not ready to shut his phone off. I'm thinking about it but I really can not bring myself to do it. If I could it would have been done by now. And I am very much back and forth on what to do or not do. I have no confidence in this matter and if I'm honest with myself I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing. What if I keep talking to him and drive him even further away? What if I don't talk to him and then one day he wants a relationship but is afraid to call and I'll never know? I just finished reading When Parents Hurt by Dr. Joshua Coleman and he states that I shouldn't stop talking to him because he is too young. That I should communicate in some form or another once a week. He says until they are 30. Maybe that has to do with the maturity issues our difficult child's obviously face. Then after that to only make contact on holidays and birthdays. Then you mix in the possibility that this is most likely mental illness and that fudges my boundaries even more. I definitely think it's time for some one on one counselling. I think I need that more than just the support group that husband and I have been going to. We stopped going a little while ago because we just felt like there wasn't anything more there for us and most of these families have children with drug problems and/or have lost a parent and developed anger and behaviour issues. There isn't a lot of support around children with mental illness. Someone over in General Parenting posted a link to "A Day in the Life of a Bipolar Child". Funnybunny was different as a kid but this article describes him so closely as a teenager it isn't funny. If he is bipolar then it started really emerging at 15. I found the reference to manic episodes in spring/summer very fitting because he has been getting progressively worse as the weather has warmed and the sun has started to shine more - same as last year. If that's any indication I dread the summer because last year was absolute hell. [/QUOTE]
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