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I was full of dookie, back to "fun" times at my house, again...
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 333908" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>Thanks Star for pointing out the part where I am too hard on myself. I really need to reflect on that.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child and I are caught up in an abusive cycle. My ex, his bio Dad was a real "prize". He and I were married before his adult onset schizo. The man would act like a total #^%%$#@ and find ways to make excuses or find ways to blame others. He would justify his nastiness and never cared about anyone around him.</p><p> </p><p>Now difficult child is following in his foot steps. He is the man spittin' image, shares expressions, hand gestures, has the same voice almost and worst of all uses all of his old tricks. It took me many years to escape the ex and now I am trapped with his "mini me". </p><p> </p><p>Be that as it may...</p><p> </p><p>It's so easy to be critical of myself when I tend to be a giver, am a perfectionist and love to play the martyr for some twisted reason. I'm just used to doing what needs done and unkind people take advantage of that.</p><p> </p><p>The ex and now difficult child was good at making me feel worthless, making me feel like all the problems were my fault, witheld affection to make me try harder to make things right and on and on and on.</p><p> </p><p>So, I grew up and moved on but my past, those demons that tear down every bit of my self esteem, well...difficult child is an expert at tearing me down. </p><p> </p><p>Unconditional love and loyalty have proven to be a weakness for me. It's a shame I am jaded by people I trust rather than a random evil doer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Enough of the pity party. </p><p> </p><p>Long story short, I need to cut myself some slack and learn to be uncompromising with my personal boundaries.</p><p> </p><p>Easier said than done.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 333908, member: 8617"] Thanks Star for pointing out the part where I am too hard on myself. I really need to reflect on that. difficult child and I are caught up in an abusive cycle. My ex, his bio Dad was a real "prize". He and I were married before his adult onset schizo. The man would act like a total #^%%$#@ and find ways to make excuses or find ways to blame others. He would justify his nastiness and never cared about anyone around him. Now difficult child is following in his foot steps. He is the man spittin' image, shares expressions, hand gestures, has the same voice almost and worst of all uses all of his old tricks. It took me many years to escape the ex and now I am trapped with his "mini me". Be that as it may... It's so easy to be critical of myself when I tend to be a giver, am a perfectionist and love to play the martyr for some twisted reason. I'm just used to doing what needs done and unkind people take advantage of that. The ex and now difficult child was good at making me feel worthless, making me feel like all the problems were my fault, witheld affection to make me try harder to make things right and on and on and on. So, I grew up and moved on but my past, those demons that tear down every bit of my self esteem, well...difficult child is an expert at tearing me down. Unconditional love and loyalty have proven to be a weakness for me. It's a shame I am jaded by people I trust rather than a random evil doer. Enough of the pity party. Long story short, I need to cut myself some slack and learn to be uncompromising with my personal boundaries. Easier said than done.:raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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I was full of dookie, back to "fun" times at my house, again...
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