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Substance Abuse
I WAS in a good mood today....now this
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 697030" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I totally agree with Leafy..... I think this is all a process towards healing. We can't wait to start healing until our kids are doing better because that may never happen. We really can't know what is in the future for our kids. Some of our kids will recover and go on to live good full productive lives, and sadly some of our kids probably won't. We can't wait for them to be ok to be ok ourselves.</p><p></p><p>There was a time when the best I could be was ok....and survive without falling apart. At that point that had to be good enough. However I kept healing with time and I really have gotten much more to a place of acceptance.</p><p></p><p>I no longer believe that old saying that as a parent you can only be as happy as your unhappiest child. I realized if i go by that i might never be happy and I wasn't willing to settle for that.</p><p></p><p>So at this point I have accepted my son is going to do what he is going to do and he might never totally get it together. i hope that is not true but I can't base my happiness on his. So I am living my life doing things that I like to do, enjoying my time with my husband etc. Yes it is much easier because he is not living here with us.</p><p></p><p>RN I don't think you are weak for sending your son away.... that might have been the best thing for you and that makes it ok!!</p><p></p><p>At times I have moments of intense sadness..... like yesterday when I thought of how I wished our family could have been if only..... but I let go of those thoughts pretty quickly because they are not helpful.</p><p></p><p>I have hope that my son will figure things out at some point but I am no longer counting on it.</p><p></p><p>And I do for him the things that give me peace of mind. So I pay for his cell phone and we are helping him out here and there although also trying to set some boundaries on it. I am trying to limit him taking advantage of me.... but I also know that sometimes he is doing that.</p><p></p><p>I am trying to keep the door open on our relationship and continue to let him know I love him but also not to let that manipulate me into doing things I am uncomfortable with.</p><p></p><p>It is a balancing act for sure. And I really think all of us here are strong incredible parents dealing with situations most parents never have to face and have no clue about.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 697030, member: 15801"] I totally agree with Leafy..... I think this is all a process towards healing. We can't wait to start healing until our kids are doing better because that may never happen. We really can't know what is in the future for our kids. Some of our kids will recover and go on to live good full productive lives, and sadly some of our kids probably won't. We can't wait for them to be ok to be ok ourselves. There was a time when the best I could be was ok....and survive without falling apart. At that point that had to be good enough. However I kept healing with time and I really have gotten much more to a place of acceptance. I no longer believe that old saying that as a parent you can only be as happy as your unhappiest child. I realized if i go by that i might never be happy and I wasn't willing to settle for that. So at this point I have accepted my son is going to do what he is going to do and he might never totally get it together. i hope that is not true but I can't base my happiness on his. So I am living my life doing things that I like to do, enjoying my time with my husband etc. Yes it is much easier because he is not living here with us. RN I don't think you are weak for sending your son away.... that might have been the best thing for you and that makes it ok!! At times I have moments of intense sadness..... like yesterday when I thought of how I wished our family could have been if only..... but I let go of those thoughts pretty quickly because they are not helpful. I have hope that my son will figure things out at some point but I am no longer counting on it. And I do for him the things that give me peace of mind. So I pay for his cell phone and we are helping him out here and there although also trying to set some boundaries on it. I am trying to limit him taking advantage of me.... but I also know that sometimes he is doing that. I am trying to keep the door open on our relationship and continue to let him know I love him but also not to let that manipulate me into doing things I am uncomfortable with. It is a balancing act for sure. And I really think all of us here are strong incredible parents dealing with situations most parents never have to face and have no clue about. TL [/QUOTE]
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I WAS in a good mood today....now this
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