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I was painfully truthful with difficult child 2 tonight.
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 456092" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Whew. Ok, thanks everyone. </p><p></p><p>He really wanted to try this sport, and I am willing to let the kids give just about anything a go as long as they are the one's pushing for it. I don't care if they're not a superstar, I don't care if they're the worst player on the team, but you're right that the other kids pick up on abilities (or lack of) fast and make snap judgements about their teammates. Fortunately, he's a big kid and he's not completely inept, and he is not mean or aggressive, but he's definitely at the bottom of the pecking order. </p><p></p><p>On the car ride home, I asked him why he was interfering with the drill the other boys were doing and not participating. He said he was "out" and couldn't go back in (according to what some of the players said). So you were the only one out the whole time? No, he said the other boys who got out went off and did something else. So why didn't you go with them? Because I wanted to watch and learn with the other guys. Okay, that's good, but why were you hanging on the goal and sticking your head through the net and interfering with the different goalies? He couldn't answer that because clearly he was not thinking and was being impulsive. That's where I showed him that his lack of awareness gets him in trouble (in so many words). It was a repeated topic in middle school, and clearly we'll have to address this in his social skills classes that will continue this year.</p><p></p><p>He hasn't given up, but he was really frustrated. I'll hopefully have another opportunity to talk with him about this, albeit more objectively, over the weekend. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I wonder if this socially awkward trait he has is genetic. I see it in husband, I see it in husband's dad, and I see it in husband's dad's youngest brother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 456092, member: 3444"] Whew. Ok, thanks everyone. He really wanted to try this sport, and I am willing to let the kids give just about anything a go as long as they are the one's pushing for it. I don't care if they're not a superstar, I don't care if they're the worst player on the team, but you're right that the other kids pick up on abilities (or lack of) fast and make snap judgements about their teammates. Fortunately, he's a big kid and he's not completely inept, and he is not mean or aggressive, but he's definitely at the bottom of the pecking order. On the car ride home, I asked him why he was interfering with the drill the other boys were doing and not participating. He said he was "out" and couldn't go back in (according to what some of the players said). So you were the only one out the whole time? No, he said the other boys who got out went off and did something else. So why didn't you go with them? Because I wanted to watch and learn with the other guys. Okay, that's good, but why were you hanging on the goal and sticking your head through the net and interfering with the different goalies? He couldn't answer that because clearly he was not thinking and was being impulsive. That's where I showed him that his lack of awareness gets him in trouble (in so many words). It was a repeated topic in middle school, and clearly we'll have to address this in his social skills classes that will continue this year. He hasn't given up, but he was really frustrated. I'll hopefully have another opportunity to talk with him about this, albeit more objectively, over the weekend. Sometimes I wonder if this socially awkward trait he has is genetic. I see it in husband, I see it in husband's dad, and I see it in husband's dad's youngest brother. [/QUOTE]
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I was painfully truthful with difficult child 2 tonight.
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