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I wish I wasn't so, well, me -
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 479166" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Steely, I wasn't having a go at you. It wasn't pomposity I was responding to, just my concern that you were feeling alienated when it seems to me that how you describe your feelings is fairly normal. Just trying to help you see that for just about everyone, we have times when we feel that sensitive about things. It's just that people generally don't like to acknowledge it in other people, we are individually all very selfish, really, and like to think that nobody else can understand how we feel, nobody else has ever felt this bad.</p><p></p><p>Someone said today (writers festival) that grieving is a very selfish thing; when someone is really grieving, they are least receptive to other people as a rule. The author speaking did point out that women grieve in different ways as a rule to men; she uses this to demonstrate conflict between characters in challenging situations. </p><p></p><p>I think klmno also has a good point - if anyone gets stuck at any stage in the grieving process, it cuts your ability to communicate about it if you are at a different stage.</p><p></p><p>Of course feelings are raw - everybody's feelings would be, who have been through the same experiences as you and your mother. But you are grieving slightly different things so it affects you in different ways.</p><p></p><p>All I'm trying to say - this is normal. Understandable. And believe it or not, it's okay, because it is healthy. At least you're expressing it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 479166, member: 1991"] Steely, I wasn't having a go at you. It wasn't pomposity I was responding to, just my concern that you were feeling alienated when it seems to me that how you describe your feelings is fairly normal. Just trying to help you see that for just about everyone, we have times when we feel that sensitive about things. It's just that people generally don't like to acknowledge it in other people, we are individually all very selfish, really, and like to think that nobody else can understand how we feel, nobody else has ever felt this bad. Someone said today (writers festival) that grieving is a very selfish thing; when someone is really grieving, they are least receptive to other people as a rule. The author speaking did point out that women grieve in different ways as a rule to men; she uses this to demonstrate conflict between characters in challenging situations. I think klmno also has a good point - if anyone gets stuck at any stage in the grieving process, it cuts your ability to communicate about it if you are at a different stage. Of course feelings are raw - everybody's feelings would be, who have been through the same experiences as you and your mother. But you are grieving slightly different things so it affects you in different ways. All I'm trying to say - this is normal. Understandable. And believe it or not, it's okay, because it is healthy. At least you're expressing it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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I wish I wasn't so, well, me -
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