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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 626795" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi momjane, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your son. You've come to a place where you will find that we all are in various stages of this process with our kids, it is a painful landscape riddled with many mine fields which blow up continuously.</p><p></p><p>I think the first place to begin is to start taking care of YOU and take the focus off of your son. I know that isn't easy, but it's necessary. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Many of us seek professional help to learn tools to detach and accept what we can't change. Many of us attend 12 step groups like Al anon, narc anon, CoDa and Families anonymous. Getting support is essential, this is too hard to do alone.</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you've reached the end of your rope. That's what happens to all of us sooner or later. You're doing the right thing in my opinion, stopping the money, making him responsible for his choices.</p><p></p><p>This is very painful. I am so sorry. We understand your torment. However, with support and a commitment to stop enabling, with the focus placed back onto you and continuing to step back, you will find your way and find some peace of mind.</p><p></p><p>The serenity prayer states what we do here pretty clearly.........</p><p></p><p>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.</p><p></p><p>Stay the course and keep posting, it helps. Wishing you comfort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 626795, member: 13542"] Hi momjane, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your son. You've come to a place where you will find that we all are in various stages of this process with our kids, it is a painful landscape riddled with many mine fields which blow up continuously. I think the first place to begin is to start taking care of YOU and take the focus off of your son. I know that isn't easy, but it's necessary. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. Many of us seek professional help to learn tools to detach and accept what we can't change. Many of us attend 12 step groups like Al anon, narc anon, CoDa and Families anonymous. Getting support is essential, this is too hard to do alone. It sounds as if you've reached the end of your rope. That's what happens to all of us sooner or later. You're doing the right thing in my opinion, stopping the money, making him responsible for his choices. This is very painful. I am so sorry. We understand your torment. However, with support and a commitment to stop enabling, with the focus placed back onto you and continuing to step back, you will find your way and find some peace of mind. The serenity prayer states what we do here pretty clearly......... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Stay the course and keep posting, it helps. Wishing you comfort. [/QUOTE]
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