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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 626946" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Momjane, </p><p></p><p>I was catching up on your thread today, and reread from the beginning. I want to second some of the advice you've been given. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Unless this is in an irrevocable trust, you do not need to give it to him and you should not. </p><p></p><p>I am always interested on this board on how parents feel they need to keep their promises, or even their implied promises, and difficult children can rewrite the books at any time and we let them. You can let him know that things have changed, you have reconsidered, and at this time you are not able to give him the money. Period. </p><p></p><p>Parents don't owe their kids college money. No state requires that. You do not owe him college money, even if you saved it up and told him it was there from the day he was born. If for some reason it IS his...well then, wait till the last possible second (when he is 25? older) before handing it over, and keep as much as you can. difficult children are sometimes destructive to our finances, and expenses. You may need that money. Do NOT give it to him now. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Albatross hit this dead on. We should not feel that we are living in a war zone. We should not allow anyone, not even our dearest darling much loved children, to put us in that position. They do not have the right to ruin our days and nights, any of which could be our last day or night....look at your last 6 months...what if you or one of your other loved ones died tonight? is it OK that this is how your last months were endured? Put an end to it now.</p><p></p><p>You are at the end of your rope. Yay! As Child says...that is a very good day.</p><p></p><p>We are with you. You are being treated horribly. Work towards freeing yourself.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 626946, member: 17269"] Momjane, I was catching up on your thread today, and reread from the beginning. I want to second some of the advice you've been given. Unless this is in an irrevocable trust, you do not need to give it to him and you should not. I am always interested on this board on how parents feel they need to keep their promises, or even their implied promises, and difficult children can rewrite the books at any time and we let them. You can let him know that things have changed, you have reconsidered, and at this time you are not able to give him the money. Period. Parents don't owe their kids college money. No state requires that. You do not owe him college money, even if you saved it up and told him it was there from the day he was born. If for some reason it IS his...well then, wait till the last possible second (when he is 25? older) before handing it over, and keep as much as you can. difficult children are sometimes destructive to our finances, and expenses. You may need that money. Do NOT give it to him now. Albatross hit this dead on. We should not feel that we are living in a war zone. We should not allow anyone, not even our dearest darling much loved children, to put us in that position. They do not have the right to ruin our days and nights, any of which could be our last day or night....look at your last 6 months...what if you or one of your other loved ones died tonight? is it OK that this is how your last months were endured? Put an end to it now. You are at the end of your rope. Yay! As Child says...that is a very good day. We are with you. You are being treated horribly. Work towards freeing yourself. Echo [/QUOTE]
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