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Parent Emeritus
I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 626170" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Very good question that I will probably continue to think about it.</p><p></p><p>I think for me when I think about acceptance I think about accepting the person as they are which is related to unconditional love. You love them no matter what they do. It does not mean necessarily accepting or feeling that their behavior is acceptable. Certainly there are many behaviors that are unacceptable to me and I dont accept the behaviors. I can acknowledge that they are bad decisions, mistakes or just plain wrong but that doesnt change the fact that I accept the person. And yes a big part of accepting a person is not actively trying to change them.</p><p></p><p>So I think saying to your son that his living under the bridge does not feel like he is contributing to society is fine..... because it is what you think and you are being honest about your beliefs. He may believe differently than you and you can accept that you dont agree. Yet at the same time you can still let him know you love him.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are doing a great job of detaching and not trying to change or control him.... and to me that is the key thing.</p><p></p><p>I guess part of acceptance is also accepting that they may never change or live differently. I think that is one of the hardest pieces... I know for me I still believe that the son I raised, with his many wonderful qualities is still in there somewhere.... and that with the right treatment and support he will find that guy in himself....but honestly i really dont know anymore.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 626170, member: 15801"] Very good question that I will probably continue to think about it. I think for me when I think about acceptance I think about accepting the person as they are which is related to unconditional love. You love them no matter what they do. It does not mean necessarily accepting or feeling that their behavior is acceptable. Certainly there are many behaviors that are unacceptable to me and I dont accept the behaviors. I can acknowledge that they are bad decisions, mistakes or just plain wrong but that doesnt change the fact that I accept the person. And yes a big part of accepting a person is not actively trying to change them. So I think saying to your son that his living under the bridge does not feel like he is contributing to society is fine..... because it is what you think and you are being honest about your beliefs. He may believe differently than you and you can accept that you dont agree. Yet at the same time you can still let him know you love him. It sounds like you are doing a great job of detaching and not trying to change or control him.... and to me that is the key thing. I guess part of acceptance is also accepting that they may never change or live differently. I think that is one of the hardest pieces... I know for me I still believe that the son I raised, with his many wonderful qualities is still in there somewhere.... and that with the right treatment and support he will find that guy in himself....but honestly i really dont know anymore. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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