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I'd like to talk about acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 626309" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Yes, indeed - 20 is young. And old. When I think back on how long ago it was that M was born or L was born. All those years dedicated to them and their lives. It's time to let them dedicate themselves to their lives and dedicate ourselves back to our own. When they can be a pleasant part of it that's appropriate.</p><p></p><p>We like to think that extended family going on forever is the way it's always been but it's not. You grew up (12 - 14 years old) got a job or got married and moved on. ONE of (the 12 of) you got the inheritance if there was one, otherwise you moved on. Sometimes your parents owed a debt and you were impressed into service to pay it off. I know this happened in both my families 3-4 generations ago. Or you were a girl and you married some guy (sound familiar) and moved away to take care of his family. Maybe - and only <em>maybe</em> you took care of your mother or father if they left you their plot. Or you let them go to debtor's prison. </p><p></p><p>This thing of keeping track of and having a say in multiple generations is not anything that we have a great deal of history with. I remember seeing my grandparents but not all of the time. In the end of their lives they lived less than a mile from us. We saw them at holidays. Same with my parents' <em>many</em> siblings. Some of them lived in the same town and I never met until I was an adult. Some folks do it very well. I think every family has difficulties with it somewhere along the line. Maybe it's just more noticeable when you've only got 2? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 626309, member: 99"] Yes, indeed - 20 is young. And old. When I think back on how long ago it was that M was born or L was born. All those years dedicated to them and their lives. It's time to let them dedicate themselves to their lives and dedicate ourselves back to our own. When they can be a pleasant part of it that's appropriate. We like to think that extended family going on forever is the way it's always been but it's not. You grew up (12 - 14 years old) got a job or got married and moved on. ONE of (the 12 of) you got the inheritance if there was one, otherwise you moved on. Sometimes your parents owed a debt and you were impressed into service to pay it off. I know this happened in both my families 3-4 generations ago. Or you were a girl and you married some guy (sound familiar) and moved away to take care of his family. Maybe - and only [I]maybe[/I] you took care of your mother or father if they left you their plot. Or you let them go to debtor's prison. This thing of keeping track of and having a say in multiple generations is not anything that we have a great deal of history with. I remember seeing my grandparents but not all of the time. In the end of their lives they lived less than a mile from us. We saw them at holidays. Same with my parents' [I]many[/I] siblings. Some of them lived in the same town and I never met until I was an adult. Some folks do it very well. I think every family has difficulties with it somewhere along the line. Maybe it's just more noticeable when you've only got 2? o_O [/QUOTE]
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