Your real family is who loves you for real and whom you love back for real.
Your identity is not connected to your DNA, unless you are one of the lucky ones and your DNA connections get along. Then it can be a part of your identity. But it doesn't have to be.
I don't remember ever thinking "I am a (my last name)." I didn't fit in and I knew the family was not a good one and I set myself apart by saying things like, "I'm a creative person. I am a giving person. I am a very sensitive person, maybe it's not even good." "I lose my temper too fast. That's not good but it is part of me." "When I love somebody, I love them with all my heart and soul." "I have an off-beat sense of humor." "I am nervous, high strung and prone to depression." "I believe in the pranormal, life after this life, and that animals are as precious to God as humans." "I like to sing." "I bombed in school."
My traits and actions were and are who I am. That's my identity...to me. I am not one of the _______s. I gag at the thought of it. I'm nothing like them. I have tried very hard to NOT be one of them...I don't agree with the way they feel about sooooooooo many things and how they treat others.
