In my case, I do not identify with my FOO. I understand what went wrong and I know my womb donor and father's nationality, but, actually, I'm American. My family was Jewish, but actually I have a combination of Buddhist and New Age strong beliefs. I am me. I am not connected to anybody because of my DNA. I am choosing to be connected to many loving people by choice.
We all can see ourselves and our identity as we wish to see ourselves.
To me, my FOO did nothing but hurt me. That is what they are to me so I don't identify with them. If I felt that DNA mattered, I could not have adopted so many children who I'd walk through fire for if that saved their lives. The only DNAers of mine that matter to me (well two) are my father (I detest my mother's side) and my son and grand. And that is due to love, not DNA. I love the rest of my non-DNA family every bit as much. So for me the DNA connection of my FOO is not a connection.
