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Family of Origin
Identity after realizing you have no real FOO (Family of Origin). My thoughts.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661954" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Short break here.</p><p></p><p>YES! I love this.</p><p></p><p>We are stronger as "I." This means our FOO weakens us and we are stronger standing without them Brilliant! I know this is true for many of us. In FOOs that do not nurture one another, and there are many, we are much more able to accept ourselves without "them." I have been Operation Oblivion for a while now and feeling good about me, not missing "them" (they are fading from my memory as real people) and not consumed with whatever happened in the past to make me have issues. I can attack the issues, but without them I don't have emotional flashbacks and less talking in my head by those who didn't value my high worth. Yes, I feel I have much to offer and it's their problem. I don't care what they think anymore.</p><p></p><p>Even in functional families sometimes I'm glad I don't have to deal with a big one. It's like Jabber and Lil. There is always drama in any family and I'm as pro-no-drama these days as possible. I don't want to deal with all the players in a big family. I am happy I was able to raise my kids without their feedback...uncles, aunts, cousins, whatever. I am not really sad about not having that to deal with on holidays. I need support sometimes, but have learned I can get it elsewhere and that sometimes even functional, mostly loving families can do bad stuff that makes it worse, like at the Reunion.</p><p></p><p>The less people I have to deal with in a family-type way, the more I am me, an individual, a person who can control my own life without annoying feedback that often isn't asked for and backbiting and gossip. Nothing spells "drama" like a family crisis. It is unlikely I'll ever have to deal with one again. I'm happy about that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661954, member: 1550"] Short break here. YES! I love this. We are stronger as "I." This means our FOO weakens us and we are stronger standing without them Brilliant! I know this is true for many of us. In FOOs that do not nurture one another, and there are many, we are much more able to accept ourselves without "them." I have been Operation Oblivion for a while now and feeling good about me, not missing "them" (they are fading from my memory as real people) and not consumed with whatever happened in the past to make me have issues. I can attack the issues, but without them I don't have emotional flashbacks and less talking in my head by those who didn't value my high worth. Yes, I feel I have much to offer and it's their problem. I don't care what they think anymore. Even in functional families sometimes I'm glad I don't have to deal with a big one. It's like Jabber and Lil. There is always drama in any family and I'm as pro-no-drama these days as possible. I don't want to deal with all the players in a big family. I am happy I was able to raise my kids without their feedback...uncles, aunts, cousins, whatever. I am not really sad about not having that to deal with on holidays. I need support sometimes, but have learned I can get it elsewhere and that sometimes even functional, mostly loving families can do bad stuff that makes it worse, like at the Reunion. The less people I have to deal with in a family-type way, the more I am me, an individual, a person who can control my own life without annoying feedback that often isn't asked for and backbiting and gossip. Nothing spells "drama" like a family crisis. It is unlikely I'll ever have to deal with one again. I'm happy about that. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Identity after realizing you have no real FOO (Family of Origin). My thoughts.
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