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General Parenting
"If I had him for one week"...
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<blockquote data-quote="Wonderful Family" data-source="post: 230044"><p>Great conversation. </p><p> </p><p> First, since you are on this board, you know it is not the parents. I do have a different thought process in some respects. I now ask what they have in mind . . . A) - it shuts up stupid people and B) does let people who have good suggestions actually say something, even if it started out the wrong way.</p><p> </p><p> Many things have transpired, but what's interesting is how we are finding that we simply no longer care what other people think as time goes by. I also find that people are not nearly so judgemental since difficult child is older now. </p><p> </p><p> But it was really awful when he was younger (adopted, only child of a different race-must be Mom, right); especially since we mostly survived, tried to control his envrionment, and never, ever went out in public unless it was a difficult child-approved location.</p><p> </p><p> If I had things to do over again, I would listen more and try to get past the judgement and see if they really had any useful ways to help. Some of the worst comments came from people who, in the end, recommended neuropsychologist testing, possible BiPolar (BP)/depression issues when we was 4/5; but their judgements against difficult child and us kept us from taking the good and throwing away the bad. They knew something that we did not, and we could have benefited if we were in the right mindset. And perhaps difficult child would not have come so unglued for a few years later.</p><p> </p><p> on the other hand, when it comes to medication, easy child is a true ADHD wild man, and people frequently ask me if he should be medicated - even if they are on the non-medication side <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> On a recent pleasure train ride to see the countryside, one of the conductors on the train asked me if I would like him to strap easy child down for a while . . .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wonderful Family, post: 230044"] Great conversation. First, since you are on this board, you know it is not the parents. I do have a different thought process in some respects. I now ask what they have in mind . . . A) - it shuts up stupid people and B) does let people who have good suggestions actually say something, even if it started out the wrong way. Many things have transpired, but what's interesting is how we are finding that we simply no longer care what other people think as time goes by. I also find that people are not nearly so judgemental since difficult child is older now. But it was really awful when he was younger (adopted, only child of a different race-must be Mom, right); especially since we mostly survived, tried to control his envrionment, and never, ever went out in public unless it was a difficult child-approved location. If I had things to do over again, I would listen more and try to get past the judgement and see if they really had any useful ways to help. Some of the worst comments came from people who, in the end, recommended neuropsychologist testing, possible BiPolar (BP)/depression issues when we was 4/5; but their judgements against difficult child and us kept us from taking the good and throwing away the bad. They knew something that we did not, and we could have benefited if we were in the right mindset. And perhaps difficult child would not have come so unglued for a few years later. on the other hand, when it comes to medication, easy child is a true ADHD wild man, and people frequently ask me if he should be medicated - even if they are on the non-medication side :) On a recent pleasure train ride to see the countryside, one of the conductors on the train asked me if I would like him to strap easy child down for a while . . . [/QUOTE]
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