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General Parenting
"If I had him for one week"...
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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 230238" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>I have experienced this as well from friends who do not know the "real" child. They only see the twins in social settings and of course, then they only see the little "angels" (also to be read as "manipulative little girls"). No one understood why husband and I are so alert to all that the twins do and so quick to put a stop to even a small beginning of misbehavior. They had no idea how quickly seemingly innocent actions could escalate into full blown disasters. One friend told me that I should be slapped for how we treated the girls, that they were so well behaved. Another accused me of mentally abusing N after I had been in the restroom at church with her for about 30 minutes. This person assumed that I was reaming the child out the entire time, when precisely the opposite was true. N was in fact having a major meltdown and ranting and raving and being completely ODD while I said nothing and waited for her to calm. </p><p>What I learned from this was that I had to do just what I had been avoiding- I had to be more open about the twins' issues and problems. I had to show the scars on my body from the temper tantrums. I had to let others know about the broken doors in our home. I had to stop protecting the twins' reputation. I did this not to damage their "standing" before others, but to gain support for our family and thus benefit the girls in the long run. </p><p>I am happy to say that for me, due to great friends, this has helped us. Instead of others downgrading and criticizing, we now get commendation and support. This is not to say that everyone around us is wonderful or that this is going to be everyone's situation. I just hope that maybe someone will have the same good experience that we have had. Despite all the ignorant know-it-alls out there, there are good people too that try to understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 230238, member: 4278"] I have experienced this as well from friends who do not know the "real" child. They only see the twins in social settings and of course, then they only see the little "angels" (also to be read as "manipulative little girls"). No one understood why husband and I are so alert to all that the twins do and so quick to put a stop to even a small beginning of misbehavior. They had no idea how quickly seemingly innocent actions could escalate into full blown disasters. One friend told me that I should be slapped for how we treated the girls, that they were so well behaved. Another accused me of mentally abusing N after I had been in the restroom at church with her for about 30 minutes. This person assumed that I was reaming the child out the entire time, when precisely the opposite was true. N was in fact having a major meltdown and ranting and raving and being completely ODD while I said nothing and waited for her to calm. What I learned from this was that I had to do just what I had been avoiding- I had to be more open about the twins' issues and problems. I had to show the scars on my body from the temper tantrums. I had to let others know about the broken doors in our home. I had to stop protecting the twins' reputation. I did this not to damage their "standing" before others, but to gain support for our family and thus benefit the girls in the long run. I am happy to say that for me, due to great friends, this has helped us. Instead of others downgrading and criticizing, we now get commendation and support. This is not to say that everyone around us is wonderful or that this is going to be everyone's situation. I just hope that maybe someone will have the same good experience that we have had. Despite all the ignorant know-it-alls out there, there are good people too that try to understand. [/QUOTE]
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"If I had him for one week"...
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