.
He is considered an adult now.
I would say that is the crux of it--he is considered an adult now by society and it is time for you to consider him one too. I don't think you need to have proof he is using drugs. I think you can tell him you are fed up with him and it is time to go, period. I had to do that with my dtr--I finally had enough--didn't explain myself to her, didn't come up with proof of anything, just said she had to go, enough was enough.
I do know how hard it is--take that step, you will feel much better! Take control of your life back. You will be helping him more than you realize--it isn't just for you and easy child it is also for him. Remember the mother bird forcing the baby bird out of the nest--baby bird won't fly til mom makes him!
Hugs,
Jane
To put our issues in a nutshell ~ my son has been out of control.
Any form of boundary is hit head on by defiance.
To be very honest, I guess I have taken the easy way out.
After staying awake to wait on him to come in on the weekends and having world war three on my hands when I tried to put a curfew on fri and sat night. I was fighting a losing battle.
Yes, I could say if you are not here by such and such time you are out. Then I get the phone calls 5 minutues before he should be home explaining such and such has happened and he can't make it. This only gets worse and I am the one paying for it with lack of sleep.
Also, and I hate to write this, but we all have a break from walking on eggshells on the weekends.
I don't think his po will do anything at this point if he test positive. He is supposed to go back to court in july for a review? of his progress with his working and payments. The drug test is for me to confirm what I believe he is doing.
Its like I am dealing with a monster. He can go from joking to hatred in seconds. And I am the target of choice.
I guess I am just rambling through my thoughts and getting advice before I take action.
And I guess I am chosing the easy way out again, I am waiting for the proof of the drug test, when I should stand my ground and tell him it's this way or the highway.
I have fought him for four years about hanging out with the 3 buddies he is with. It has been a never ending battle that he has won. None of them will pull into my driveway and they will get someone else to call here for him, but he ends up with them everytime.
I think he knows the time is coming, each time I try to sit and talk with him he blows up and walks away. He says that was what he was taught in anger management, to remove himself from the situation.
He uses this to prevent any conversation I try to start about how he is living.
Good thing I paid for that anger management program!!! Guess he learned what tools to use to prevent any comfortation from his mom!!!
