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General Parenting
If It's Friday and Trouble is Starting
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 274482" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>I think what disturbs me about him breaking the ceiling fan because he was 'so angry' is that it was NOT a passionate outburst. </p><p> </p><p>He was in his room and if his anger welled up and was bursting out of his so that he had to lash out, he had more immediate targets: He could have swept everything off his dresser or his desk--that would have made a loud noise and been very distructive (lamps, books, etc...). He has a plastic bin (about the size of what you store a Xmas tree in) that is used as a toy box--he could have thrown or upset that and made a lot of mess and noise. He could have yanked off the curtains, or upset his laundry hamper or pulled out and emptied his dresser drawers or thrown his desk chair across the room (we have wood floors so all this would have been dramatic). He didn't run out of the room, or kick his door or bang on the walls.</p><p> </p><p>Instead he got his desk chair, quietly positioned it up the ceiling fan, stopped the fan, then one by one bent/broke off the blades, put the blades on the bed (did not throw or drop them to the floor), turned the fan back on with just little stubby arms, and replaced the chair. And then the rest of the day he stood in the middle of the room facing the door (I could go outside and see the back of his head through the window). It got dark, he stood there. Around 8 pm my husband talked to him, when husband left, he resumed his position standing. It got dark. </p><p> </p><p>The next morning at 6:50 I got up and checked on him. He was sitting in the same clothes on the edge of his bed. </p><p> </p><p>I understand everyone handles anger differently, and have no doubt that he is an angry person, I find it disturbing that he was so controlled and deliberate about expressing it. And I'm having trouble putting my finger on what about it upset me sooo much. I think it was the oddness. He was neither out of control anger or in control angry, but ended up being very destructive in a really meaningless way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 274482, member: 5169"] I think what disturbs me about him breaking the ceiling fan because he was 'so angry' is that it was NOT a passionate outburst. He was in his room and if his anger welled up and was bursting out of his so that he had to lash out, he had more immediate targets: He could have swept everything off his dresser or his desk--that would have made a loud noise and been very distructive (lamps, books, etc...). He has a plastic bin (about the size of what you store a Xmas tree in) that is used as a toy box--he could have thrown or upset that and made a lot of mess and noise. He could have yanked off the curtains, or upset his laundry hamper or pulled out and emptied his dresser drawers or thrown his desk chair across the room (we have wood floors so all this would have been dramatic). He didn't run out of the room, or kick his door or bang on the walls. Instead he got his desk chair, quietly positioned it up the ceiling fan, stopped the fan, then one by one bent/broke off the blades, put the blades on the bed (did not throw or drop them to the floor), turned the fan back on with just little stubby arms, and replaced the chair. And then the rest of the day he stood in the middle of the room facing the door (I could go outside and see the back of his head through the window). It got dark, he stood there. Around 8 pm my husband talked to him, when husband left, he resumed his position standing. It got dark. The next morning at 6:50 I got up and checked on him. He was sitting in the same clothes on the edge of his bed. I understand everyone handles anger differently, and have no doubt that he is an angry person, I find it disturbing that he was so controlled and deliberate about expressing it. And I'm having trouble putting my finger on what about it upset me sooo much. I think it was the oddness. He was neither out of control anger or in control angry, but ended up being very destructive in a really meaningless way. [/QUOTE]
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