Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
If you could raise your kids again, what would you change?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 691281" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Lil. What should we call the color of glasses, that are the opposite of rose colored ones? The opposite and complementary side of the color wheel would indicate "puce." Kind of like puke. I will take the liberty of calling these glasses of yours puke colored glasses.</p><p></p><p>Everything is not all bad. Are our kids, most of them, a mess? Yes. Do they right at this moment reflect back to us, a child rearing product that does not compete with our fantasies? Yes. Is this a moment in time (a seemingly never-ending one)? Yes.</p><p></p><p>There is no way to know if changing one thing in terms of what we did or did not do or how we did it, would change the result? We love these kids? Would we want to turn them in for another model? Even though we are unhappy right now, I do not think so.</p><p></p><p>Your son (and mine, still, at 27, have more aspects of gangly 10 year olds, and adolescents than they do of grown men. But I can see the man emerging in my own son. And I like him a lot. I respect him a lot. He is kind and caring. Gentle and wise. His values are almost identical to my own. His heart is sweeter and more open.</p><p></p><p>You never read these words a year ago, because the hostile, defiant mess of a kid was still in the forefront. I think we have to remember that these are moments on he way to something else. Your son is not an end product now. Nor is he a product. Let us patiently wait together to see what comes.</p><p></p><p>To me, your son is a powerful individual. A capable one. Let us see what he makes of this. Like my own son, yours has no meanness. He is not small or petty, that I can see. What he is is lazy and undisciplined.</p><p></p><p>He will find his purpose, just as you found yours, and me, my own.</p><p>Lil. I think we were separated at birth. This is exactly what my child-rearing philosophy was. Uh oh. But the thing is, I do not think our approach was all that bad. Certainly not in the bottom half.</p><p>Well, I was that, too, then. I was tired. I worked 10 hours a day at demanding work. When he was a toddler I was writing my dissertation,.</p><p></p><p>My son is intensely proud of me. I know he is but he does not say it. And most important, I am proud of me. I am not bitter and anger, because I became the person I needed to be, with the life I needed to have. I reflected that for him.</p><p></p><p>Is it really useful (or correct) to throw out the mother with the bath water? Can we not wait and see how this develops?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 691281, member: 18958"] Lil. What should we call the color of glasses, that are the opposite of rose colored ones? The opposite and complementary side of the color wheel would indicate "puce." Kind of like puke. I will take the liberty of calling these glasses of yours puke colored glasses. Everything is not all bad. Are our kids, most of them, a mess? Yes. Do they right at this moment reflect back to us, a child rearing product that does not compete with our fantasies? Yes. Is this a moment in time (a seemingly never-ending one)? Yes. There is no way to know if changing one thing in terms of what we did or did not do or how we did it, would change the result? We love these kids? Would we want to turn them in for another model? Even though we are unhappy right now, I do not think so. Your son (and mine, still, at 27, have more aspects of gangly 10 year olds, and adolescents than they do of grown men. But I can see the man emerging in my own son. And I like him a lot. I respect him a lot. He is kind and caring. Gentle and wise. His values are almost identical to my own. His heart is sweeter and more open. You never read these words a year ago, because the hostile, defiant mess of a kid was still in the forefront. I think we have to remember that these are moments on he way to something else. Your son is not an end product now. Nor is he a product. Let us patiently wait together to see what comes. To me, your son is a powerful individual. A capable one. Let us see what he makes of this. Like my own son, yours has no meanness. He is not small or petty, that I can see. What he is is lazy and undisciplined. He will find his purpose, just as you found yours, and me, my own. Lil. I think we were separated at birth. This is exactly what my child-rearing philosophy was. Uh oh. But the thing is, I do not think our approach was all that bad. Certainly not in the bottom half. Well, I was that, too, then. I was tired. I worked 10 hours a day at demanding work. When he was a toddler I was writing my dissertation,. My son is intensely proud of me. I know he is but he does not say it. And most important, I am proud of me. I am not bitter and anger, because I became the person I needed to be, with the life I needed to have. I reflected that for him. Is it really useful (or correct) to throw out the mother with the bath water? Can we not wait and see how this develops? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
If you could raise your kids again, what would you change?
Top