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Parent Emeritus
If you could raise your kids again, what would you change?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 691320" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Some of the things our kids went through would still have happened even if we changed things. Some are wired to just not conform to anything. Some get more mature with time and without us doing a thing. I was very lucky that both of my very difficult kids ended up turning things around on their own. I said here that I feel I did motherhood well. I do, as far as being home, the cookies, nurturing, accrpting...thst sort of thing. But there are decisions I made that were counter productive to good parenting. I listed them. So was I a good parent or a parent with good intentions, whose kids felt loved (I'm convinced even Gone boy did) but who made some really bad decisions? I think we all had/ have good intentions. I started the thread just to see what others would do differently to compare it with myself.</p><p></p><p>I am not really sure how much we influenced the way our kids turned out so far. Is anyone? Heck, all of my kids are SO different. Is it because they have different DNA? None are biologically related and three are adopted (four if Gone boy is included).</p><p></p><p>I felt like a lazy parent too because unless my kids showed me otherwise, I did not feel discipline for the small things was helpful. I can't remember grounding, spanking, much more than scolding without much force. The first time I had to crack the whip was when Bart became an intolerable teen. Then I had to ramp it up again when Princess used drugs. Except for those emergencies our home was relaxed.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I have to smile about military school. I had a friend with a d c teen who tried it and he was tossed out and told they are not a behavioral school.</p><p></p><p>Cop a and Lil, my first three kids were brought up Lutheran and even went to Lutheran school for four years. My younger two went to Catholic school for two years. My only child who has any strong sense of religion is Gone boy and he uses it to make himself a martyr...and of course he is the only true type of Christian that is a REAL Christian. Lutherans and Catholics don't count!!! No denomination is really Christian in his eyes, although that is not how he was raised or what he learned in church.</p><p></p><p>Public schools actually were better for my particular kids. None did well in a parochial school. But that is different for each individual child</p><p></p><p>And religion does h help many. It's my own kids who just don't buy it. I believe it can help. A belief in a higher power sustains me...</p><p></p><p>Anyway...maybe a thread should start about what we felt we did right. And are still doing right. Because we all did a lot right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 691320, member: 1550"] Some of the things our kids went through would still have happened even if we changed things. Some are wired to just not conform to anything. Some get more mature with time and without us doing a thing. I was very lucky that both of my very difficult kids ended up turning things around on their own. I said here that I feel I did motherhood well. I do, as far as being home, the cookies, nurturing, accrpting...thst sort of thing. But there are decisions I made that were counter productive to good parenting. I listed them. So was I a good parent or a parent with good intentions, whose kids felt loved (I'm convinced even Gone boy did) but who made some really bad decisions? I think we all had/ have good intentions. I started the thread just to see what others would do differently to compare it with myself. I am not really sure how much we influenced the way our kids turned out so far. Is anyone? Heck, all of my kids are SO different. Is it because they have different DNA? None are biologically related and three are adopted (four if Gone boy is included). I felt like a lazy parent too because unless my kids showed me otherwise, I did not feel discipline for the small things was helpful. I can't remember grounding, spanking, much more than scolding without much force. The first time I had to crack the whip was when Bart became an intolerable teen. Then I had to ramp it up again when Princess used drugs. Except for those emergencies our home was relaxed. Cedar, I have to smile about military school. I had a friend with a d c teen who tried it and he was tossed out and told they are not a behavioral school. Cop a and Lil, my first three kids were brought up Lutheran and even went to Lutheran school for four years. My younger two went to Catholic school for two years. My only child who has any strong sense of religion is Gone boy and he uses it to make himself a martyr...and of course he is the only true type of Christian that is a REAL Christian. Lutherans and Catholics don't count!!! No denomination is really Christian in his eyes, although that is not how he was raised or what he learned in church. Public schools actually were better for my particular kids. None did well in a parochial school. But that is different for each individual child And religion does h help many. It's my own kids who just don't buy it. I believe it can help. A belief in a higher power sustains me... Anyway...maybe a thread should start about what we felt we did right. And are still doing right. Because we all did a lot right. [/QUOTE]
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If you could raise your kids again, what would you change?
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