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Parent Emeritus
If you don't detach from your adult difficult children.......
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<blockquote data-quote="Geehwiz" data-source="post: 612487" data-attributes="member: 17262"><p>Hi, I'm new here today and have been trying to find somewhere where people actually know what it's like to have a kid that's out there. I've been reading all the posts and it is good to know I'm not alone.</p><p>My only kid, my son is 25 and I saw on his FB page (his dad still pays for the phone-dad and I do not talk, he was an abuser) anyway, my son's fb page has a picture of his new campsite, where he lives. His step dad and I, as well as his dad, have poured money into his life, even gave him a used truck, which he sold not 2 months later. I have bought countless pizzas, paid for apt's and food and clothes and even said we'd pay for school. He doesn't want to do any of that. He stole form his job, he's pulled a knife on a guy at his last job, he can't find work. I miss him, I love him beyond everything but I have to stay out of his life, he is a big guy, old enough to take care of himself. I hope. </p><p>With the holidays coming up, finding out my brother is homeless too (last week or so, have done all we can for him too) I am beside myself thinking I should feed them at least. But how do you say "Here's some grub, Happy Holidays now go back to your tent?" I feel for them both but they have made some really bad decisions and I can't give them enough to get them on their feet again. </p><p>I'm 52, my mom died last year, dads been gone awhile and the holidays are just weird now, there is no homey-ness to it, no thrill, I dread the days. How do I celebrate when my heart, my mind, my loved ones are not around?</p><p>*I'm sorry if this rant is in the wrong place, I appreciate just being heard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Geehwiz, post: 612487, member: 17262"] Hi, I'm new here today and have been trying to find somewhere where people actually know what it's like to have a kid that's out there. I've been reading all the posts and it is good to know I'm not alone. My only kid, my son is 25 and I saw on his FB page (his dad still pays for the phone-dad and I do not talk, he was an abuser) anyway, my son's fb page has a picture of his new campsite, where he lives. His step dad and I, as well as his dad, have poured money into his life, even gave him a used truck, which he sold not 2 months later. I have bought countless pizzas, paid for apt's and food and clothes and even said we'd pay for school. He doesn't want to do any of that. He stole form his job, he's pulled a knife on a guy at his last job, he can't find work. I miss him, I love him beyond everything but I have to stay out of his life, he is a big guy, old enough to take care of himself. I hope. With the holidays coming up, finding out my brother is homeless too (last week or so, have done all we can for him too) I am beside myself thinking I should feed them at least. But how do you say "Here's some grub, Happy Holidays now go back to your tent?" I feel for them both but they have made some really bad decisions and I can't give them enough to get them on their feet again. I'm 52, my mom died last year, dads been gone awhile and the holidays are just weird now, there is no homey-ness to it, no thrill, I dread the days. How do I celebrate when my heart, my mind, my loved ones are not around? *I'm sorry if this rant is in the wrong place, I appreciate just being heard. [/QUOTE]
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If you don't detach from your adult difficult children.......
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