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If you've ever 'sent your child away' ...
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 84835" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Very interesting question, GoldenGuru...</p><p></p><p>My SO and I are in the process of sending our difficult child away. We are about to place him in a long-term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). psychiatrist, therapist and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) Exec Director predict that the placement will be a minimum of 3 years at this point, more likely 5...we will see how it all goes.</p><p></p><p>I know that this is the right decision for the whole family. difficult child cannot live at home anymore, and he needs too much support to be out on his own. I don't feel guilt about it, only relief that we have finally found somewhere that can take him. (difficult child has been to 4 schools and another Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in the past 4 years).</p><p></p><p>SO, on the other hand, is struggling with near overwhelming guilt. He feels as though he failed difficult child, and that he's abandoning him.</p><p></p><p>I asked SO why he felt that way, and he said that is how he would feel if he were in difficult child's place...that his parents were abandoning him. But difficult child doesn't seem to feel that way at all. He's very anxious, but he loved his summer Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement, and is excited about going.</p><p></p><p>I wonder...do you miss those mom-and-daughter things that you wish you could have done during your difficult child's time away? Do you think that you would have felt abandoned in her place? It's really hard sometimes, not to project our own feelings onto our children...but they are different people with different needs from our own.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you did the best thing for your daughter, especially considering how well she's doing now, and the fact that you have a great relationship now.</p><p></p><p>I hope that my difficult child and I can re-establish a relationship that's as good as the one you have with your daughter. Right now, I'm counting the days until I can have my life and family back.</p><p></p><p>Just my $0.02</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 84835, member: 3907"] Very interesting question, GoldenGuru... My SO and I are in the process of sending our difficult child away. We are about to place him in a long-term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). psychiatrist, therapist and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) Exec Director predict that the placement will be a minimum of 3 years at this point, more likely 5...we will see how it all goes. I know that this is the right decision for the whole family. difficult child cannot live at home anymore, and he needs too much support to be out on his own. I don't feel guilt about it, only relief that we have finally found somewhere that can take him. (difficult child has been to 4 schools and another Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in the past 4 years). SO, on the other hand, is struggling with near overwhelming guilt. He feels as though he failed difficult child, and that he's abandoning him. I asked SO why he felt that way, and he said that is how he would feel if he were in difficult child's place...that his parents were abandoning him. But difficult child doesn't seem to feel that way at all. He's very anxious, but he loved his summer Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement, and is excited about going. I wonder...do you miss those mom-and-daughter things that you wish you could have done during your difficult child's time away? Do you think that you would have felt abandoned in her place? It's really hard sometimes, not to project our own feelings onto our children...but they are different people with different needs from our own. It sounds like you did the best thing for your daughter, especially considering how well she's doing now, and the fact that you have a great relationship now. I hope that my difficult child and I can re-establish a relationship that's as good as the one you have with your daughter. Right now, I'm counting the days until I can have my life and family back. Just my $0.02 Trinity [/QUOTE]
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