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I'm a little miffed at difficult child's teacher
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 35040" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With the lipstick - I remember taking an Avon lip gloss to school once - it was a little girl's one, very dark red but came out clear when you put it on. I had it confiscated when a teacher saw me putting it on in assembly - I went up to her later and explained that it wasn't lipstick, it was a clear lip gloss, and demonstrated it on my hand. She gave it back, but with the remark that it was a good thing it wasn't lipstick because such a colour would look awful on me! (mean cow) </p><p>This was back in the late Sixties when people wore weird, pale lipstick colours - I now wear colours very like the one my lip gloss was simulated to look like.</p><p>If the make-up your daughter took to school was colourless, I would let the teacher know of this but otherwise make no issue - teachers need to feel they're in charge and if they're caught in a mistake they don't like being told.</p><p></p><p>About the skorts - did you tell them that it wasn't a skirt? I would make it clear, if only to point out that no intention to flout school dress code was either intended or actual. But if there's a risk some kids thought it was a skirt, and OK to wear one that short, then it's likely the school will ask you to not let her wear the skorts again.</p><p></p><p>The long, skinny body with long legs - sounds like easy child 2/difficult child 2. When she started high school we had trouble getting school uniform to fit her. The uniform was a plaid school skirt with white shirt and school logo embroidered on the shirt pocket. None of the shirts in the shop fitted her - we had to order some primary school white shirts, and have the embroidery done specially. Even then the shirts were thick and bulky. Which was good - the smallest skirt we could get was too big around the waist, but was held up by bunching the over-large shirt. To make the skirt short enough I simply cut off the very wide hem and re-hemmed it. The wide hem I then turned into several head-bands, by threading elastic through them. But I couldn't make the skirt too short, because then the over-long shirt would show below her hem!</p><p>It was really ridiculous. And the school were hard sticklers for school uniform.</p><p>In winter, the girls were permitted to wear long black trousers. We took easy child 2/difficult child 2 shopping, much to the delight of owners of boutique stores who loved playing "dress-ups" with this beautiful but flat-chested Barbie doll. Those incredibly long legs and slim hips meant that the usual bargain stores had absolutely nothing for her. Even the boutique stores were striking out, until one store found some stretch lycra pants. They were supposed to be a skin-tight stretch fit, but on easy child 2/difficult child 2 the fabric didn't need to stretch at all. But the length and the tailoring was perfect! The price wasn't, though, but knowing how hard the search had been we paid up anyway.</p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 wore those pants to school through four high school years. We only had to buy new ones because she was now even taller, and needed a longer pair. Still no need for the pants to actually stretch!</p><p>Then the school sent home a note - any student wearing stretch lycra pants would be deemed to be out of uniform, which could earn detention unless parents sent in a note, renewable daily.</p><p>At about the same time, the school objected to easy child 2/difficult child 2 wearing a long, black tailored wool coat. This coat had been part of easy child's school uniform, but since she had left school she passed it to her baby sister. Although it had been expensive it was a good investment because due to where we live, travel to school on winter mornings REQUIRED a coat like this. Travelling on the water before sunrise in winter - it's darned cold! The school insisted that only school uniform items could be worn - a thin windcheater over the normal uniform. No beanies, no gloves, no coat. Because they weren't part of the current list of uniform items. The school colours included black, and the coat looked good so it wasn't a matter of her bringing discredit to the school.</p><p></p><p>So they got an out-of-uniform note from me with both barrels. "She has a small frame and only weighs 30 Kg [66 lb]. She leaves home to catch the 7 am ferry, which is before sunrise. She then catches a train and walks the remaining couple of kilometres to school, where she waits outside in the cold for another hour. In the afternoon she often doesn't get home until the 5 pm ferry, which is after sunset. Being so small, she feels the cold and needs to be kept warm to make sure she doesn't catch pneumonia. She wears the coat, plus beanie, scarf and gloves (all black, in keeping with school colours) for reasons of health and safety. When the staff who wish to enforce this rule also wear school uniform on an identical trip, daily, at the same time as her, instead of arriving at the school at 8.55 am in the comfort of a heated car, THEN you can criticise her choice of clothing. Until then, any attempt by any staff member to punish her for her choice of protective clothing as I have described, will be taken as a personal attack on my child's health and I will take the matter up with more senior education personnel, up to and including the Ministers for Education and Health." </p><p>I also made it clear that my note was to be considered effective for the entire cold weather period, from April to October, and would not be renewed each day, week or month since winter itself does not require such a note to continue blasting us with cold temperatures during those months.</p><p></p><p>They left her alone after that. But by the time she was in her final year, the school had brought in, as part of the uniform options, an identical heavy black wool coat, a black beanie, black scarf and gloves for winter wear. Of course, then they brought in a rule saying "the only pants permitted are the plain cotton ones from XX Shop", but I dealt with that by pointing out that not only did XX Shop NOT have ANY pants in her size, but they weren't selling any pants until the winter months, so she couldn't even get fitted until after Easter. The shop offered to have pants specially made for her, but she would have only got three months' wear out of them, at most, so I told the school that the pants she already owned would have to do. Once again, they backed down and never hassled her.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes schools/teachers need to feel in control. Sometimes they just want to throw their weight around. It's a matter of judging which it is, and whether it's worth fighting about. I knew that in easy child 2/difficult child 2's case, we were dealing with bullies who were also cowards. In your case - there may be other issues and your daughter HAS been getting on well with the teacher up til now. I'd clear up misunderstandings, not make too many waves, and sit tight.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 35040, member: 1991"] With the lipstick - I remember taking an Avon lip gloss to school once - it was a little girl's one, very dark red but came out clear when you put it on. I had it confiscated when a teacher saw me putting it on in assembly - I went up to her later and explained that it wasn't lipstick, it was a clear lip gloss, and demonstrated it on my hand. She gave it back, but with the remark that it was a good thing it wasn't lipstick because such a colour would look awful on me! (mean cow) This was back in the late Sixties when people wore weird, pale lipstick colours - I now wear colours very like the one my lip gloss was simulated to look like. If the make-up your daughter took to school was colourless, I would let the teacher know of this but otherwise make no issue - teachers need to feel they're in charge and if they're caught in a mistake they don't like being told. About the skorts - did you tell them that it wasn't a skirt? I would make it clear, if only to point out that no intention to flout school dress code was either intended or actual. But if there's a risk some kids thought it was a skirt, and OK to wear one that short, then it's likely the school will ask you to not let her wear the skorts again. The long, skinny body with long legs - sounds like easy child 2/difficult child 2. When she started high school we had trouble getting school uniform to fit her. The uniform was a plaid school skirt with white shirt and school logo embroidered on the shirt pocket. None of the shirts in the shop fitted her - we had to order some primary school white shirts, and have the embroidery done specially. Even then the shirts were thick and bulky. Which was good - the smallest skirt we could get was too big around the waist, but was held up by bunching the over-large shirt. To make the skirt short enough I simply cut off the very wide hem and re-hemmed it. The wide hem I then turned into several head-bands, by threading elastic through them. But I couldn't make the skirt too short, because then the over-long shirt would show below her hem! It was really ridiculous. And the school were hard sticklers for school uniform. In winter, the girls were permitted to wear long black trousers. We took easy child 2/difficult child 2 shopping, much to the delight of owners of boutique stores who loved playing "dress-ups" with this beautiful but flat-chested Barbie doll. Those incredibly long legs and slim hips meant that the usual bargain stores had absolutely nothing for her. Even the boutique stores were striking out, until one store found some stretch lycra pants. They were supposed to be a skin-tight stretch fit, but on easy child 2/difficult child 2 the fabric didn't need to stretch at all. But the length and the tailoring was perfect! The price wasn't, though, but knowing how hard the search had been we paid up anyway. easy child 2/difficult child 2 wore those pants to school through four high school years. We only had to buy new ones because she was now even taller, and needed a longer pair. Still no need for the pants to actually stretch! Then the school sent home a note - any student wearing stretch lycra pants would be deemed to be out of uniform, which could earn detention unless parents sent in a note, renewable daily. At about the same time, the school objected to easy child 2/difficult child 2 wearing a long, black tailored wool coat. This coat had been part of easy child's school uniform, but since she had left school she passed it to her baby sister. Although it had been expensive it was a good investment because due to where we live, travel to school on winter mornings REQUIRED a coat like this. Travelling on the water before sunrise in winter - it's darned cold! The school insisted that only school uniform items could be worn - a thin windcheater over the normal uniform. No beanies, no gloves, no coat. Because they weren't part of the current list of uniform items. The school colours included black, and the coat looked good so it wasn't a matter of her bringing discredit to the school. So they got an out-of-uniform note from me with both barrels. "She has a small frame and only weighs 30 Kg [66 lb]. She leaves home to catch the 7 am ferry, which is before sunrise. She then catches a train and walks the remaining couple of kilometres to school, where she waits outside in the cold for another hour. In the afternoon she often doesn't get home until the 5 pm ferry, which is after sunset. Being so small, she feels the cold and needs to be kept warm to make sure she doesn't catch pneumonia. She wears the coat, plus beanie, scarf and gloves (all black, in keeping with school colours) for reasons of health and safety. When the staff who wish to enforce this rule also wear school uniform on an identical trip, daily, at the same time as her, instead of arriving at the school at 8.55 am in the comfort of a heated car, THEN you can criticise her choice of clothing. Until then, any attempt by any staff member to punish her for her choice of protective clothing as I have described, will be taken as a personal attack on my child's health and I will take the matter up with more senior education personnel, up to and including the Ministers for Education and Health." I also made it clear that my note was to be considered effective for the entire cold weather period, from April to October, and would not be renewed each day, week or month since winter itself does not require such a note to continue blasting us with cold temperatures during those months. They left her alone after that. But by the time she was in her final year, the school had brought in, as part of the uniform options, an identical heavy black wool coat, a black beanie, black scarf and gloves for winter wear. Of course, then they brought in a rule saying "the only pants permitted are the plain cotton ones from XX Shop", but I dealt with that by pointing out that not only did XX Shop NOT have ANY pants in her size, but they weren't selling any pants until the winter months, so she couldn't even get fitted until after Easter. The shop offered to have pants specially made for her, but she would have only got three months' wear out of them, at most, so I told the school that the pants she already owned would have to do. Once again, they backed down and never hassled her. Sometimes schools/teachers need to feel in control. Sometimes they just want to throw their weight around. It's a matter of judging which it is, and whether it's worth fighting about. I knew that in easy child 2/difficult child 2's case, we were dealing with bullies who were also cowards. In your case - there may be other issues and your daughter HAS been getting on well with the teacher up til now. I'd clear up misunderstandings, not make too many waves, and sit tight. Marg [/QUOTE]
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