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I'm a newbie; opinions on books?
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<blockquote data-quote="Diabolique" data-source="post: 171572" data-attributes="member: 5512"><p>Susiestar -- Thanks for your reply. I agree, the book by Riley espouses a rather harsh method of getting difficult child's behavior under control. There were a lot of sections, in particular at the beginning of the book where Riley describes the "rules" by which an oppositional child operates, that made sense to me. I found myself thinking, "Wow, that's my kid" over and over again. However, once I got to the section outlining his method for dealing with oppositional and defiant behavior, I found myself thinking, "Hey now, that seems a bit rough." Where Riley's book seems to differ tremendously from others I've read is that Riley seems to be operating under the assumption that much of the oppositional behavior by the difficult child is <em>intentional.</em> At least, that seems to me to be one of the underlying premises of the book -- and hence, the commando-style <em>I'm gonna take you down at all costs </em>approach to addressing ODD. In all honesty, I think that the behaviors my son exhibits are a combo of intentional and unintentional. There are times when I'm 100% sure that difficult child is getting under my skin on purpose (repeatedly doing things he knows I despise, overandoverandover again, regardless of my attempts to curb these behaviors). Other times, he seems to be acting on uncontrollable impulse and just running from one thing to the next to the next like an automaton. Very strange. </p><p> </p><p>I actually *do* like the other book by Barkley (<em>Your Defiant Child</em>...); I'm still in the middle of The Explosive Child. Right now, I'm putting the books down for a few days because I've found that I'm overwhelmed by the amount of information I've been reading and feel like I need to sort it all out. </p><p> </p><p>The more I read about Autism spectrum disorders and Aspie, the less I think Noah fits the profile. The lining up of objects isn't all that frequent, and it always seems to have a purpose. Today, he lined up a bunch of his animals: they were "in line waiting for the school door to open." And, although his speech is quite adult-like, I don't find it to be chunks of memorized speech. I don't know, it seems to me that he just speaks very clearly and with quite a large vocabulary for his age. He may come by being "good" with language naturally: I started speaking very early and in complete sentences, am usually exceptional at any task that is related to language, and am completely fluent in three languages other than English. Languages have always been a "piece of cake" to me, and that may also be the case for difficult child. Who knows? Of course, I am ruling out nothing -- I'm not a doctor! So, he will have the full round of tests in October and we'll see what the results are. I will be stunned if ADHD is not part of the diagnosis because the symptoms really "fit." As far as ODD goes, those behaviors all *really* fit. </p><p> </p><p>I plan to check back in later today to get some feedback on my parents' offer to take difficult child on vacation with them. I think my mom sees that I'm ready to come unglued and is trying to help me get some distance from my child right now. It's been a rough week -- many crying jags on my part, constant battle with difficult child, complete and utter demoralization and loss of confidence in my ability to parent this difficult child. I'm not in the best of shape, to say the least. My parents would like to take my son with them for about a week so that I can have a break and get <em>myself </em>set up with some kind of mental health professional. I am still mulling this idea over. The only thing holding me back from saying "yes" is the fear that difficult child's behavior will ruin my parents' long-awaited and well-deserved vacation. Any thoughts? </p><p> </p><p>Thanks, all! I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Diabolique, post: 171572, member: 5512"] Susiestar -- Thanks for your reply. I agree, the book by Riley espouses a rather harsh method of getting difficult child's behavior under control. There were a lot of sections, in particular at the beginning of the book where Riley describes the "rules" by which an oppositional child operates, that made sense to me. I found myself thinking, "Wow, that's my kid" over and over again. However, once I got to the section outlining his method for dealing with oppositional and defiant behavior, I found myself thinking, "Hey now, that seems a bit rough." Where Riley's book seems to differ tremendously from others I've read is that Riley seems to be operating under the assumption that much of the oppositional behavior by the difficult child is [I]intentional.[/I] At least, that seems to me to be one of the underlying premises of the book -- and hence, the commando-style [I]I'm gonna take you down at all costs [/I]approach to addressing ODD. In all honesty, I think that the behaviors my son exhibits are a combo of intentional and unintentional. There are times when I'm 100% sure that difficult child is getting under my skin on purpose (repeatedly doing things he knows I despise, overandoverandover again, regardless of my attempts to curb these behaviors). Other times, he seems to be acting on uncontrollable impulse and just running from one thing to the next to the next like an automaton. Very strange. I actually *do* like the other book by Barkley ([I]Your Defiant Child[/I]...); I'm still in the middle of The Explosive Child. Right now, I'm putting the books down for a few days because I've found that I'm overwhelmed by the amount of information I've been reading and feel like I need to sort it all out. The more I read about Autism spectrum disorders and Aspie, the less I think Noah fits the profile. The lining up of objects isn't all that frequent, and it always seems to have a purpose. Today, he lined up a bunch of his animals: they were "in line waiting for the school door to open." And, although his speech is quite adult-like, I don't find it to be chunks of memorized speech. I don't know, it seems to me that he just speaks very clearly and with quite a large vocabulary for his age. He may come by being "good" with language naturally: I started speaking very early and in complete sentences, am usually exceptional at any task that is related to language, and am completely fluent in three languages other than English. Languages have always been a "piece of cake" to me, and that may also be the case for difficult child. Who knows? Of course, I am ruling out nothing -- I'm not a doctor! So, he will have the full round of tests in October and we'll see what the results are. I will be stunned if ADHD is not part of the diagnosis because the symptoms really "fit." As far as ODD goes, those behaviors all *really* fit. I plan to check back in later today to get some feedback on my parents' offer to take difficult child on vacation with them. I think my mom sees that I'm ready to come unglued and is trying to help me get some distance from my child right now. It's been a rough week -- many crying jags on my part, constant battle with difficult child, complete and utter demoralization and loss of confidence in my ability to parent this difficult child. I'm not in the best of shape, to say the least. My parents would like to take my son with them for about a week so that I can have a break and get [I]myself [/I]set up with some kind of mental health professional. I am still mulling this idea over. The only thing holding me back from saying "yes" is the fear that difficult child's behavior will ruin my parents' long-awaited and well-deserved vacation. Any thoughts? Thanks, all! I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday! [/QUOTE]
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