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The Watercooler
I'm always the bad guy, but THIS time...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 318670" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM, under NO circumstances would I allow this man to have any kind of authority over one of my kids. From just knowing that he abused his wife I would forbid that kind of contact. in my opinion it would send the message that although he hurt his wife, it is still OK to put him in charge of females. </p><p></p><p>Then there is the cocaine and other allegations. Those would also be a NO. Even for an event in-town. My child would not get into a car with him. </p><p></p><p>Chances are HIGH, based on other aspects of your small town gathered from other posts, that the family has done all they could do to keep his troubles out of the light of day so that they are not embarrassed. I know many firsthand cases that this happened in. One very very wealthy family here would not even be allowed to have my child grace the front door with a knock. Not about anything. </p><p></p><p>You have all of these things, PLUS your intuition screaming NO NO NO! SHE WON'T GO! NO NO NO! SHE WON'T GO! </p><p></p><p>Don't ignore that. When the angel on your shoulder recruits friends to come and cheer that at you, well, it is something you need to listen to.</p><p></p><p>I am a chauvinist in some ways. I freely admit my bias. With the very very rare exception I will NOT have a male babysitter for my children. We are almost past that, but the rule has always been there. The vast majority of child predators are male. Simply using that bias is one way to eliminate a LOT of risk to my kids. Gpas, specific other males in our lives are exceptions. </p><p>This is not said to man-bash, or to cause discussion. It is just what we use to help set up our lives so that we can eliminate a certain amount of risk. </p><p></p><p>I hope that Nichole can find a team that is not such a hardship for the family to afford. I know things are really rough right now. Maybe in a year or two you will have more books published and that can pay for activities. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. It hoovers to have to deny our kids something because of this kind of ****.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 318670, member: 1233"] MWM, under NO circumstances would I allow this man to have any kind of authority over one of my kids. From just knowing that he abused his wife I would forbid that kind of contact. in my opinion it would send the message that although he hurt his wife, it is still OK to put him in charge of females. Then there is the cocaine and other allegations. Those would also be a NO. Even for an event in-town. My child would not get into a car with him. Chances are HIGH, based on other aspects of your small town gathered from other posts, that the family has done all they could do to keep his troubles out of the light of day so that they are not embarrassed. I know many firsthand cases that this happened in. One very very wealthy family here would not even be allowed to have my child grace the front door with a knock. Not about anything. You have all of these things, PLUS your intuition screaming NO NO NO! SHE WON'T GO! NO NO NO! SHE WON'T GO! Don't ignore that. When the angel on your shoulder recruits friends to come and cheer that at you, well, it is something you need to listen to. I am a chauvinist in some ways. I freely admit my bias. With the very very rare exception I will NOT have a male babysitter for my children. We are almost past that, but the rule has always been there. The vast majority of child predators are male. Simply using that bias is one way to eliminate a LOT of risk to my kids. Gpas, specific other males in our lives are exceptions. This is not said to man-bash, or to cause discussion. It is just what we use to help set up our lives so that we can eliminate a certain amount of risk. I hope that Nichole can find a team that is not such a hardship for the family to afford. I know things are really rough right now. Maybe in a year or two you will have more books published and that can pay for activities. Hugs. It hoovers to have to deny our kids something because of this kind of ****. [/QUOTE]
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I'm always the bad guy, but THIS time...
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