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General Parenting
Im an aunt of an 18 year old and needs help
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 728375" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Check the eviction laws in your state, they differ. You can google it. Here in CA. if he would not leave on his own, he would have to be evicted. I believe it's a 30 day notice. At that point, if the person won't leave, you can have a sheriff physically remove him. If your father is afraid, or if your nephew has stolen from your Dad or performed any illegal activities, call the police. Or as Apple said, get the Dept. of Aging involved. </p><p></p><p>Unless <strong><em>he</em></strong> is willing to get on a plane to his mother, you may not have that choice, unless you pay for the trip and he accepts your offer. Is his mother aware of the chaos and drama her son is causing all of you? If so, can't she be of some help to get him home? </p><p></p><p>We don't know your nephew, however, he exhibits some of the unhealthy traits many of our troubled kids do.......the lying, the refusal to follow rules, the lack of care or empathy for others, substance abuse, disrespectful, cannot be trusted with cars or money or jobs......unfortunately, when our kids act in this fashion, they are usually not willing to do any changing whatsoever.........hence <em>WE have to change. </em></p><p></p><p>From what you've mentioned, your nephew should leave your Dad's home asap. If you require eviction, I would encourage you to start that process immediately. Unfortunately, when we demand action from our kids and stop accepting their poor behavior, they can act out, ramp up the drama, manipulate, threaten, blame, etc., ......so just be careful and remember to stay the course, even if he acts out. It is usually just a manipulation to get you to do what they want.</p><p></p><p>From everything you mentioned, however you remove him from your fathers home is a healthy choice .........and the sooner your nephew returns to his mother, the better it will be for you and your Dad. Sigh. I know it's not easy. Take care of yourself and your Dad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 728375, member: 13542"] Check the eviction laws in your state, they differ. You can google it. Here in CA. if he would not leave on his own, he would have to be evicted. I believe it's a 30 day notice. At that point, if the person won't leave, you can have a sheriff physically remove him. If your father is afraid, or if your nephew has stolen from your Dad or performed any illegal activities, call the police. Or as Apple said, get the Dept. of Aging involved. Unless [B][I]he[/I][/B] is willing to get on a plane to his mother, you may not have that choice, unless you pay for the trip and he accepts your offer. Is his mother aware of the chaos and drama her son is causing all of you? If so, can't she be of some help to get him home? We don't know your nephew, however, he exhibits some of the unhealthy traits many of our troubled kids do.......the lying, the refusal to follow rules, the lack of care or empathy for others, substance abuse, disrespectful, cannot be trusted with cars or money or jobs......unfortunately, when our kids act in this fashion, they are usually not willing to do any changing whatsoever.........hence [I]WE have to change. [/I] From what you've mentioned, your nephew should leave your Dad's home asap. If you require eviction, I would encourage you to start that process immediately. Unfortunately, when we demand action from our kids and stop accepting their poor behavior, they can act out, ramp up the drama, manipulate, threaten, blame, etc., ......so just be careful and remember to stay the course, even if he acts out. It is usually just a manipulation to get you to do what they want. From everything you mentioned, however you remove him from your fathers home is a healthy choice .........and the sooner your nephew returns to his mother, the better it will be for you and your Dad. Sigh. I know it's not easy. Take care of yourself and your Dad. [/QUOTE]
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Im an aunt of an 18 year old and needs help
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