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I'm at a loss.....LONG
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 208277" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Mustang - a gentle hug to you. We're in the same sinking boat here. thank you thinks he's fine and doesn't need services. I've tried to lay the groundwork so he can access housing when he hits 18, but he refused to come home last weekend for the psychiatric evaluation, which is required for this program. I've pretty much hit my limit in terms of trying to shove services down his throat. He will only do things on his terms. No school, no job, no nothing, but he knows it all and is just fine. He is unwilling/unable to see how contradictory that is.</p><p> </p><p>I can't begin to tell you how much I'm dreading next spring or how bad I think things are going to get. I anticipate he will be homeless, unmedicated, cold, and hungry - and I'm steeling myself to *not* rescue him. Like you, I think the most optimistic situation will be arrest - at least then he'll have a hot and a cot, but.... I don't kid myself on that either. Jail will be heck for him - all those rules, you know?</p><p> </p><p>I think in some ways it will be "easier" for us in that thank you isn't living here now. We won't have to tell him to leave. We will have to tell him he cannot come "home". </p><p> </p><p>I guess I hope that when reality slaps him in the face and he starts to really see how hard (I think) it will be to function, he will be more agreeable to services - but I don't think there's a chance of that happening while he's in his current placement or if we keep rescuing him.</p><p> </p><p>His therapist years ago told us that thank you wouldn't start to change until it became too expensive to continue as he was. Unfortunately, 8.5 years out of our home hasn't been too expensive for him and I worry about how bad he's going to let things get before he does start making changes, and whether he will be able to pull himself back from the depths. We will encourage and provide information on resources, but my days of making the phone calls for him are over (of course, I'm still making the calls to get info on resources, but he doesn't have to know that <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ).</p><p> </p><p>I don't know - it's going to be a rough road, I think, but from where I'm standing we really only have 2 choices: Keep trying to get them services that they refuse, provide housing they won't value, continue to contribute to a lifestyle they haven't earned but feel they are entitled to, OR force them out to stand on their own 2 feet and either get their acts together or figure out that they really *do* need services. Both choices pretty much Hoover.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 208277, member: 8"] Mustang - a gentle hug to you. We're in the same sinking boat here. thank you thinks he's fine and doesn't need services. I've tried to lay the groundwork so he can access housing when he hits 18, but he refused to come home last weekend for the psychiatric evaluation, which is required for this program. I've pretty much hit my limit in terms of trying to shove services down his throat. He will only do things on his terms. No school, no job, no nothing, but he knows it all and is just fine. He is unwilling/unable to see how contradictory that is. I can't begin to tell you how much I'm dreading next spring or how bad I think things are going to get. I anticipate he will be homeless, unmedicated, cold, and hungry - and I'm steeling myself to *not* rescue him. Like you, I think the most optimistic situation will be arrest - at least then he'll have a hot and a cot, but.... I don't kid myself on that either. Jail will be heck for him - all those rules, you know? I think in some ways it will be "easier" for us in that thank you isn't living here now. We won't have to tell him to leave. We will have to tell him he cannot come "home". I guess I hope that when reality slaps him in the face and he starts to really see how hard (I think) it will be to function, he will be more agreeable to services - but I don't think there's a chance of that happening while he's in his current placement or if we keep rescuing him. His therapist years ago told us that thank you wouldn't start to change until it became too expensive to continue as he was. Unfortunately, 8.5 years out of our home hasn't been too expensive for him and I worry about how bad he's going to let things get before he does start making changes, and whether he will be able to pull himself back from the depths. We will encourage and provide information on resources, but my days of making the phone calls for him are over (of course, I'm still making the calls to get info on resources, but he doesn't have to know that ;) ). I don't know - it's going to be a rough road, I think, but from where I'm standing we really only have 2 choices: Keep trying to get them services that they refuse, provide housing they won't value, continue to contribute to a lifestyle they haven't earned but feel they are entitled to, OR force them out to stand on their own 2 feet and either get their acts together or figure out that they really *do* need services. Both choices pretty much Hoover. [/QUOTE]
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