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Substance Abuse
I'm back, and things aren't getting better
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 724581" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Thought I'd post an update. My husband finally reached his boiling point two evenings ago and had a heart-to-heart talk with son. Since the recent overdose episode, things had gone back to same-old, same-old, with son "watching" his kids at our house by sleeping while the older child (age 9) plays computer games all day and the younger child (age 6) entertains herself. The kids aren't bad, but they can be noisy, and just overall annoying when husband and I can't watch TV, etc. without noise and interruptions. I try to engage the kids at times, but don't feel like I should entertain them all day. So our daughter-in-law had decided that she's not having our son (her husband) staying with her anymore, and somehow the kids had been pretty much living with us, also. Previously, they were at our place maybe once or twice a week. She has a large extended family, and lives a few blocks from a couple of sisters as well as her mom and dad, so it's not like we're the only people who could help out.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, the discussion was very positive, with my husband telling son that he wasn't kicking him out, but that things needed to progress toward him getting treatment and getting better. He also said that he felt like daughter-in-law was "dumping" her problems at our house, and he felt like she should be taking care of her own kids. He also mentioned that he didn't like the fact that grandson is on the computer literally every waking moment, refuses to interact with the rest of the family, and runs around our place in his underwear all day. It seems silly, but my husband sees it as general disrespect. My husband was very encouraging to our son, said he thinks he's an intelligent man who has a lot to offer, and that we'll support him as long as he's trying to do better, but it won't do anyone any good if he ends up dead.</p><p></p><p>Throughout this time period (since the OD), daughter-in-law has been texting us that we need to tell our son to get his s*** out of her house, she didn't want his clothes there, etc. It's understandable that she's angry with him, but we honestly don't need to be so involved in their BS. Well, yesterday she texted my husband something like, "Aren't you the grandparents? Tell your son to get his s*** together so you won't have to see your irritating grandchildren any more." I was upset, and husband said he wasn't even going to reply, that we don't need to be in their drama. She came over last night and got some of their clothes and toys, didn't say much to me on the way out. </p><p></p><p>I mentioned to my husband that maybe I could pick up the kids and keep them one weekend day (their mother works on weekends), and that way we could see them on our terms. He said OK if I really want to, but now I'm thinking I should lay low and see what happens, not try to stay involved right now. I think this will blow over, and we've had a fairly good relationship with daughter-in-law before. But she does tend to hold grudges, so who knows what will happen.</p><p></p><p>On the bright side, our son said he was accepted into a residential treatment program and is just waiting for a space to open up. He said he's supposed to call them every day to see when he can get started. I have guarded optimism here.</p><p></p><p>Not sure if I'm looking for advice or commiseration, but will take either!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 724581, member: 18099"] Thought I'd post an update. My husband finally reached his boiling point two evenings ago and had a heart-to-heart talk with son. Since the recent overdose episode, things had gone back to same-old, same-old, with son "watching" his kids at our house by sleeping while the older child (age 9) plays computer games all day and the younger child (age 6) entertains herself. The kids aren't bad, but they can be noisy, and just overall annoying when husband and I can't watch TV, etc. without noise and interruptions. I try to engage the kids at times, but don't feel like I should entertain them all day. So our daughter-in-law had decided that she's not having our son (her husband) staying with her anymore, and somehow the kids had been pretty much living with us, also. Previously, they were at our place maybe once or twice a week. She has a large extended family, and lives a few blocks from a couple of sisters as well as her mom and dad, so it's not like we're the only people who could help out. Anyway, the discussion was very positive, with my husband telling son that he wasn't kicking him out, but that things needed to progress toward him getting treatment and getting better. He also said that he felt like daughter-in-law was "dumping" her problems at our house, and he felt like she should be taking care of her own kids. He also mentioned that he didn't like the fact that grandson is on the computer literally every waking moment, refuses to interact with the rest of the family, and runs around our place in his underwear all day. It seems silly, but my husband sees it as general disrespect. My husband was very encouraging to our son, said he thinks he's an intelligent man who has a lot to offer, and that we'll support him as long as he's trying to do better, but it won't do anyone any good if he ends up dead. Throughout this time period (since the OD), daughter-in-law has been texting us that we need to tell our son to get his s*** out of her house, she didn't want his clothes there, etc. It's understandable that she's angry with him, but we honestly don't need to be so involved in their BS. Well, yesterday she texted my husband something like, "Aren't you the grandparents? Tell your son to get his s*** together so you won't have to see your irritating grandchildren any more." I was upset, and husband said he wasn't even going to reply, that we don't need to be in their drama. She came over last night and got some of their clothes and toys, didn't say much to me on the way out. I mentioned to my husband that maybe I could pick up the kids and keep them one weekend day (their mother works on weekends), and that way we could see them on our terms. He said OK if I really want to, but now I'm thinking I should lay low and see what happens, not try to stay involved right now. I think this will blow over, and we've had a fairly good relationship with daughter-in-law before. But she does tend to hold grudges, so who knows what will happen. On the bright side, our son said he was accepted into a residential treatment program and is just waiting for a space to open up. He said he's supposed to call them every day to see when he can get started. I have guarded optimism here. Not sure if I'm looking for advice or commiseration, but will take either! [/QUOTE]
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