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I'm beginning to get it
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<blockquote data-quote="ML" data-source="post: 322169"><p>I want to say a special thank you to my PE friends for your support and encouragement as I deal with the "stepson that lives in the basement".</p><p></p><p>I'm starting to believe he's drinking more than I thought. I think we're dealing with addiction on top of everything else. He comes by it honestly I suppose. I suggested husband go to some alanon meetings with me to help create healthier boundaries for himself and our family. </p><p></p><p>husband was whining about wanting to do our own Thanksgiving. Basically his sons don't particularly like going to my parents home. No particular reason, they just, for some reason, make ZERO effort to be polite to engage in conversation. They go there and say nothing and just look miserable. My brother nicknamed them "the sunshine boys". I told husband that I was not up to cooking a separate meal. My parent's home is beautiful, warm and inviting to anyone who makes the least of effort. I feel like husband doesn't want to accept his new reailty. He IS part of a blended family now and he can either mourn holiday's past or embrace the "isness" of the current reality. I'm done trying to make everyone happy. I'm exhausted frankly and I plan to have a wonderful day and meet anyone halfway that wants to enjoy it as well. But anyone that wants to dig their feet in and express passive agression junk can do it without any attention from me. husband or either of the sunshine boys can cook a separate meal if it is that important to them and I'll show up with bells on. Clearly they have issues but they're not mine and they can work through them on their own time lol. You have to know me to realize what progress that is for me. I'm the eternal caretaker.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I'm very thankful for this group. Love, ML</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ML, post: 322169"] I want to say a special thank you to my PE friends for your support and encouragement as I deal with the "stepson that lives in the basement". I'm starting to believe he's drinking more than I thought. I think we're dealing with addiction on top of everything else. He comes by it honestly I suppose. I suggested husband go to some alanon meetings with me to help create healthier boundaries for himself and our family. husband was whining about wanting to do our own Thanksgiving. Basically his sons don't particularly like going to my parents home. No particular reason, they just, for some reason, make ZERO effort to be polite to engage in conversation. They go there and say nothing and just look miserable. My brother nicknamed them "the sunshine boys". I told husband that I was not up to cooking a separate meal. My parent's home is beautiful, warm and inviting to anyone who makes the least of effort. I feel like husband doesn't want to accept his new reailty. He IS part of a blended family now and he can either mourn holiday's past or embrace the "isness" of the current reality. I'm done trying to make everyone happy. I'm exhausted frankly and I plan to have a wonderful day and meet anyone halfway that wants to enjoy it as well. But anyone that wants to dig their feet in and express passive agression junk can do it without any attention from me. husband or either of the sunshine boys can cook a separate meal if it is that important to them and I'll show up with bells on. Clearly they have issues but they're not mine and they can work through them on their own time lol. You have to know me to realize what progress that is for me. I'm the eternal caretaker. Anyway, I'm very thankful for this group. Love, ML [/QUOTE]
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