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I'm going to test my kid no matter what hubby says
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 61852" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Kathrine, you said, "This will accomplish one of 2 things: husband will realize that difficult child has ADHD after having to deal with him a lot more, or all the extra attention from husband will help difficult child settle down and do a little better. Either way, it will be an improvement from what we have going on now."</p><p></p><p>Good onya, girl, you got the idea!</p><p></p><p>I think getting difficult children hearing checked is a very sensible thing to do - it needs to be assessed because if you find something at THIS level it could answer a lot of problems in a much easier way. And if he tests as normal - then you know to keep looking.</p><p></p><p>A hearing test was our first port of call with difficult child 1, because he was not responding even to his own name, when he was 2. But there is a simply, subtle hearing test you can do on your own - it's sneaky - crinkle a chocolate wrapper on the other side of the room when he's not expecting it.</p><p>Basically, think - does he respond to sounds of something he likes? What about an ice cream truck going along the road? A favourite ad on TV? The theme of his favourite show? A favourite song on the radio? His best friend calling his name?</p><p></p><p>A proper hearing test is far more sophisticated than this. It's also delivered in a distraction-free environment in a one-to-one situation. He will be really trying hard to get it right. This means the results of his hearing test are likely to be as close to his actual ability as possible.</p><p>So if his hearing checks out OK, but his listening score already has not, you then have to think - what else is needed, for attention?</p><p></p><p>For now, treat him as if he has a hearing problem. As a rule they don't ignore to be annoying, they really haven't heard; or there can be a delay before your words 'sink in' - "oh yeah, I think Mum just called me for dinner, maybe a few minutes ago - I'll go check." It's like when someone says something to you that you don't quite catch and even as you're asking them to repeat it, your brain has continued to sift trough and sort possibilities and you finally realise what was said, without having to hear it again after all. Imagine that happening on a much bigger scale, much more frequently - your brain is constantly playing catch up.</p><p></p><p>I like entering game shows on TV. For most of them, the audition process is a trivia quiz where questions are asked one after the other. There is a time limit for each question and at the end of the TOTAL time, you hand your paper in to be marked. Something I've done - I might not be sure of an answer, or it might be on the tip of my tongue and I want to think about it a bit more, but already they're asking the next question. I'll make a small pencil mark giving a fragment of the question, so if I answer a later question faster I can use the extra seconds to give the earlier question some extra thought. But to do this, you have to also keep listening to each question and not be so distracted that you lose your place.</p><p>Someone with an attention problem (for whatever reason) is constantly playing catch-up like this. They CAN lose their place or get totally confused. Teachers hate it when a kid keeps asking them to repeat something, especially if they think the kid missed it through laziness or inattention. As a result, these kids learn to not ask for it to be repeated.</p><p></p><p>It really sounds like you're making good progress in your own ideas and handling. I hope you get some useful answers soon. Good on husband for taking on the extra responsibility - there's hope for him yet! Maybe take him a cuppa while he's sitting with difficult child? My difficult child 3 drinks coffee too (decaf only) so I'll sometimes take him a fresh cup of coffee when I can see he's working well and I don't want him to stop to get a drink for himself. If husband is working with him - they both get a cuppa, if it's taking time. It's the reward for working well together.</p><p></p><p>As for your health care system - sometimes you have to do whatever works for you. What we do Down Under is not what most people on this site advise - but it's how things work here, I can't change it. Wish I could sometimes, but there it is. At least to get started, you go with the flow sometimes.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 61852, member: 1991"] Kathrine, you said, "This will accomplish one of 2 things: husband will realize that difficult child has ADHD after having to deal with him a lot more, or all the extra attention from husband will help difficult child settle down and do a little better. Either way, it will be an improvement from what we have going on now." Good onya, girl, you got the idea! I think getting difficult children hearing checked is a very sensible thing to do - it needs to be assessed because if you find something at THIS level it could answer a lot of problems in a much easier way. And if he tests as normal - then you know to keep looking. A hearing test was our first port of call with difficult child 1, because he was not responding even to his own name, when he was 2. But there is a simply, subtle hearing test you can do on your own - it's sneaky - crinkle a chocolate wrapper on the other side of the room when he's not expecting it. Basically, think - does he respond to sounds of something he likes? What about an ice cream truck going along the road? A favourite ad on TV? The theme of his favourite show? A favourite song on the radio? His best friend calling his name? A proper hearing test is far more sophisticated than this. It's also delivered in a distraction-free environment in a one-to-one situation. He will be really trying hard to get it right. This means the results of his hearing test are likely to be as close to his actual ability as possible. So if his hearing checks out OK, but his listening score already has not, you then have to think - what else is needed, for attention? For now, treat him as if he has a hearing problem. As a rule they don't ignore to be annoying, they really haven't heard; or there can be a delay before your words 'sink in' - "oh yeah, I think Mum just called me for dinner, maybe a few minutes ago - I'll go check." It's like when someone says something to you that you don't quite catch and even as you're asking them to repeat it, your brain has continued to sift trough and sort possibilities and you finally realise what was said, without having to hear it again after all. Imagine that happening on a much bigger scale, much more frequently - your brain is constantly playing catch up. I like entering game shows on TV. For most of them, the audition process is a trivia quiz where questions are asked one after the other. There is a time limit for each question and at the end of the TOTAL time, you hand your paper in to be marked. Something I've done - I might not be sure of an answer, or it might be on the tip of my tongue and I want to think about it a bit more, but already they're asking the next question. I'll make a small pencil mark giving a fragment of the question, so if I answer a later question faster I can use the extra seconds to give the earlier question some extra thought. But to do this, you have to also keep listening to each question and not be so distracted that you lose your place. Someone with an attention problem (for whatever reason) is constantly playing catch-up like this. They CAN lose their place or get totally confused. Teachers hate it when a kid keeps asking them to repeat something, especially if they think the kid missed it through laziness or inattention. As a result, these kids learn to not ask for it to be repeated. It really sounds like you're making good progress in your own ideas and handling. I hope you get some useful answers soon. Good on husband for taking on the extra responsibility - there's hope for him yet! Maybe take him a cuppa while he's sitting with difficult child? My difficult child 3 drinks coffee too (decaf only) so I'll sometimes take him a fresh cup of coffee when I can see he's working well and I don't want him to stop to get a drink for himself. If husband is working with him - they both get a cuppa, if it's taking time. It's the reward for working well together. As for your health care system - sometimes you have to do whatever works for you. What we do Down Under is not what most people on this site advise - but it's how things work here, I can't change it. Wish I could sometimes, but there it is. At least to get started, you go with the flow sometimes. Marg [/QUOTE]
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