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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 749227" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Welcome ckay87!</p><p></p><p>About 1 1/2 ago I divorced my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs. My two sons, 25 and 29 at the time (somehow while I was in the midst of putting the house up for sale and cleaning a home out that we lived in for 25 yrs. all by myself, while my totally incapacitated husband spewed venemous words at me while I cleaned, packed and moved everything single-handedly) moved back in! My younger son, smoked pot like it was his job! I was fuming because all my cloths stunk and I was worried people at work would think that it was me smoking. I cringe remembering this. Anyhow, the house finally got sold (miracle and I truly mean this) and we had made arrangements with the new owner to rent from him for one month. This was so my ex-husband could stay sober for a minute and find a place to live and so that both my sons who I absolutely refused to have live with me ever again, could also work on that.</p><p></p><p>The older son, found a place to live (temporarily until he didn't chose to work anymore) and well...he's homeless now (long story). The younger son, had no plans, even though I announced the deadline and all the furniture and belongings were slipping away day after day before their very eyes (as I sold and or put in storage while I went to live with my sister) and they were literally sleeping on the floor. No one payed any attention! My heart was broken. Broken that nobody would listen to me when I gave them the deadline to be out of the house and that I would have to watch everyone blame me because they now had no where to live. </p><p></p><p>To this day they are "all" still homeless (ex lives with his sister off and on). My experience is that this will take a long time to work itself, if it ever does. But what I do know, is that even though it broke my heart that I didn't take them all with me I know this was the right thing to do for myself. I still do not even allow my sons to my apartment because they will beg and cry to stay with me (and I know I will not be strong enough to say no). They will do anything not to have to take care of themselves. It is painful but again, my advice is that I would not take your son with you. I also, tried, paying security deposits and rent for the older son thinking he was moving in the right direction at one point. But then he could not meet his rent, then he couldn't pay for his food, then he couldn't pay the electric. I was being choked again with expenses. So, from experience I wouldn't try paying the security and rent because it will be for nothing.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong and keeping letting him know the deadline but in reality be prepared that he still may have no where to go and you will have to watch him pack his bag and walk down the street, as hard as that will be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 749227, member: 23405"] Welcome ckay87! About 1 1/2 ago I divorced my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs. My two sons, 25 and 29 at the time (somehow while I was in the midst of putting the house up for sale and cleaning a home out that we lived in for 25 yrs. all by myself, while my totally incapacitated husband spewed venemous words at me while I cleaned, packed and moved everything single-handedly) moved back in! My younger son, smoked pot like it was his job! I was fuming because all my cloths stunk and I was worried people at work would think that it was me smoking. I cringe remembering this. Anyhow, the house finally got sold (miracle and I truly mean this) and we had made arrangements with the new owner to rent from him for one month. This was so my ex-husband could stay sober for a minute and find a place to live and so that both my sons who I absolutely refused to have live with me ever again, could also work on that. The older son, found a place to live (temporarily until he didn't chose to work anymore) and well...he's homeless now (long story). The younger son, had no plans, even though I announced the deadline and all the furniture and belongings were slipping away day after day before their very eyes (as I sold and or put in storage while I went to live with my sister) and they were literally sleeping on the floor. No one payed any attention! My heart was broken. Broken that nobody would listen to me when I gave them the deadline to be out of the house and that I would have to watch everyone blame me because they now had no where to live. To this day they are "all" still homeless (ex lives with his sister off and on). My experience is that this will take a long time to work itself, if it ever does. But what I do know, is that even though it broke my heart that I didn't take them all with me I know this was the right thing to do for myself. I still do not even allow my sons to my apartment because they will beg and cry to stay with me (and I know I will not be strong enough to say no). They will do anything not to have to take care of themselves. It is painful but again, my advice is that I would not take your son with you. I also, tried, paying security deposits and rent for the older son thinking he was moving in the right direction at one point. But then he could not meet his rent, then he couldn't pay for his food, then he couldn't pay the electric. I was being choked again with expenses. So, from experience I wouldn't try paying the security and rent because it will be for nothing. Stay strong and keeping letting him know the deadline but in reality be prepared that he still may have no where to go and you will have to watch him pack his bag and walk down the street, as hard as that will be. [/QUOTE]
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