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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 591889" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Hi and Welcome! Happy you found us, sorry, you had to.</p><p></p><p>It sounds your situation is totally out of control right now and first thing to do is gain back that control. First of all, tell your uninvited house guest to leave. If he doesn't call police. If he comes back, call again. Try to get him arrested of trespassing or something. Tell your son he is not to invite anyone to your home and if he does you are going to ask them leave and if necessary call the police.</p><p></p><p>Then your son. I would take about everything away from him. He does need roof over his head, food several times a day, his school books and a mattress and some clean clothes. Nothing more. If there are things in his life that are positive influences for him, I would let him keep those too. But for example that Xbox certainly has negative influence on him from the way he behaved. If he breaks things or is violent, call the cops.</p><p></p><p>You can't force your son to accept help, you can only offer that. But you are not required to offer him comfy life while he is screwing his life up either.</p><p></p><p>But the first thing you need to do is have a good talk with your husband. Blame game doesn't help and you absolutely need to work together to gain your house back and to put your son to his place. After you have got your house to be a bit more peaceful and cut down a bit of that extra entitlement your son has, you are in better place to try to find the ways to support positive changes in your son's life. But first things first, you have to gain back control of your house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 591889, member: 14557"] Hi and Welcome! Happy you found us, sorry, you had to. It sounds your situation is totally out of control right now and first thing to do is gain back that control. First of all, tell your uninvited house guest to leave. If he doesn't call police. If he comes back, call again. Try to get him arrested of trespassing or something. Tell your son he is not to invite anyone to your home and if he does you are going to ask them leave and if necessary call the police. Then your son. I would take about everything away from him. He does need roof over his head, food several times a day, his school books and a mattress and some clean clothes. Nothing more. If there are things in his life that are positive influences for him, I would let him keep those too. But for example that Xbox certainly has negative influence on him from the way he behaved. If he breaks things or is violent, call the cops. You can't force your son to accept help, you can only offer that. But you are not required to offer him comfy life while he is screwing his life up either. But the first thing you need to do is have a good talk with your husband. Blame game doesn't help and you absolutely need to work together to gain your house back and to put your son to his place. After you have got your house to be a bit more peaceful and cut down a bit of that extra entitlement your son has, you are in better place to try to find the ways to support positive changes in your son's life. But first things first, you have to gain back control of your house. [/QUOTE]
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