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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 591902" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>When will your son turn 18? Sadly...he is bullying you in your own house and self-destructing with drugs, probably doing them in your house which is illegal and could get YOU into trouble. He is also defacing your property, which is unacceptable. That will cost you a mint in the long run. I don't know how much money you have, but I couldn't pay to fix a house a difficult child put holes in.</p><p></p><p> Do you have younger kids? I'd be planning for him to leave when he graduated high school unless he goes to a rehab and stops trying to rule the roost. Be careful with "friend." "Friend" can by law become tenant where by law he CAN'T be tossed out. Be careful there. Are you married? I'd have your hub/SO and his father/SO carry him out of the house, if necessary. Since when is he allowed to just stay there? If he is under 18, call the police and say a minor refuses to go home...he is a runaway. And be sure to tell them he is using drugs in your house. I'm a little fuzzy on why you haven't tried harder to get him out. No extra kid would ever be living in my house, regardless of how tough I had to be or what I had to do to get him out or how PO'd my wild child acted. Sounds like you are afraid of him. Does he attack you? The police should be called every time this happens until he is 18 and asked to leave.</p><p></p><p>Make it clear to your son that if he doesn't get help NOW and listen to your house rules, that he will lose the privledge of residing in it. Many of us, if not most, have had to make our drug using children leave for our peace of mind and for them to either sink or swim in order to be motivated to get help. He can not continue to wreck your house, spoil your health and interfer with your marriage. If you let him do this, apparently he will. You deserve a good life too, one of peace. This is NOT his house and in my opinion he should not be allowed to break the law and destroy your things in it. Does he steal from you? That is typical of drug users too. His bullying of you however is worse than many drug users and he needs to have his life put into perspective. Right now he owns nothing, not even the right to live with you after he is 18. </p><p></p><p>Can we have more detail/background on your son? Has he always been this way?</p><p></p><p>I strongly suggest going to Narc-Anon for face-to-face help. You don't need to be religious to benefit from all of the parental knowledge you will gain at the meetings and all the emotional support you also get. I went...it was invaluable for me and my husband. I also went to Al-Anon. Anything, just to help give us the strength to keep going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 591902, member: 1550"] When will your son turn 18? Sadly...he is bullying you in your own house and self-destructing with drugs, probably doing them in your house which is illegal and could get YOU into trouble. He is also defacing your property, which is unacceptable. That will cost you a mint in the long run. I don't know how much money you have, but I couldn't pay to fix a house a difficult child put holes in. Do you have younger kids? I'd be planning for him to leave when he graduated high school unless he goes to a rehab and stops trying to rule the roost. Be careful with "friend." "Friend" can by law become tenant where by law he CAN'T be tossed out. Be careful there. Are you married? I'd have your hub/SO and his father/SO carry him out of the house, if necessary. Since when is he allowed to just stay there? If he is under 18, call the police and say a minor refuses to go home...he is a runaway. And be sure to tell them he is using drugs in your house. I'm a little fuzzy on why you haven't tried harder to get him out. No extra kid would ever be living in my house, regardless of how tough I had to be or what I had to do to get him out or how PO'd my wild child acted. Sounds like you are afraid of him. Does he attack you? The police should be called every time this happens until he is 18 and asked to leave. Make it clear to your son that if he doesn't get help NOW and listen to your house rules, that he will lose the privledge of residing in it. Many of us, if not most, have had to make our drug using children leave for our peace of mind and for them to either sink or swim in order to be motivated to get help. He can not continue to wreck your house, spoil your health and interfer with your marriage. If you let him do this, apparently he will. You deserve a good life too, one of peace. This is NOT his house and in my opinion he should not be allowed to break the law and destroy your things in it. Does he steal from you? That is typical of drug users too. His bullying of you however is worse than many drug users and he needs to have his life put into perspective. Right now he owns nothing, not even the right to live with you after he is 18. Can we have more detail/background on your son? Has he always been this way? I strongly suggest going to Narc-Anon for face-to-face help. You don't need to be religious to benefit from all of the parental knowledge you will gain at the meetings and all the emotional support you also get. I went...it was invaluable for me and my husband. I also went to Al-Anon. Anything, just to help give us the strength to keep going. [/QUOTE]
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