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I'm not attached to my body
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 211296"><p>In these days of insurance controlled health care, there is no more going to the hospital and staying until they figure it out. It just doesn't happen. The doctor's office asked if I wanted to go to the ER and I asked why...no one knows what to do so they do nothing.</p><p></p><p>I cannot believe that the lumbar spine MRI was normal. Dr. M was surprised by that, too. I just cannot believe it. I have weakness in my legs, pain down my buttocks, hips and legs, pain/weakness in lower back, spasms... </p><p></p><p>I've had a brain MRI. Showed subtle midline cerebellar atrophy. No one's looked any further for a cause. Neither of the 2 MRI's were with contrast. </p><p></p><p>Each flare brings on more 'damage' that doesn't ever return fully to normal after the flare. This time it's numbness/tingling in my right hand - besides all the other normal flare stuff. </p><p></p><p>I just feel defeated.</p><p></p><p>But, I can't even feel that without people thinking I need to go see a psychiatrist. Why can't I just feel defeated without people calling it depression? Why can't I experience NORMAL human emotions without having that damn label attached to it???</p><p></p><p>And somehow, through all of this - when I'm getting worse by the day - I'm still supposed to do all the things a mom is supposed to do. I'm still supposed to be able to do everything. I can't. I give. I'm done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 211296"] In these days of insurance controlled health care, there is no more going to the hospital and staying until they figure it out. It just doesn't happen. The doctor's office asked if I wanted to go to the ER and I asked why...no one knows what to do so they do nothing. I cannot believe that the lumbar spine MRI was normal. Dr. M was surprised by that, too. I just cannot believe it. I have weakness in my legs, pain down my buttocks, hips and legs, pain/weakness in lower back, spasms... I've had a brain MRI. Showed subtle midline cerebellar atrophy. No one's looked any further for a cause. Neither of the 2 MRI's were with contrast. Each flare brings on more 'damage' that doesn't ever return fully to normal after the flare. This time it's numbness/tingling in my right hand - besides all the other normal flare stuff. I just feel defeated. But, I can't even feel that without people thinking I need to go see a psychiatrist. Why can't I just feel defeated without people calling it depression? Why can't I experience NORMAL human emotions without having that damn label attached to it??? And somehow, through all of this - when I'm getting worse by the day - I'm still supposed to do all the things a mom is supposed to do. I'm still supposed to be able to do everything. I can't. I give. I'm done. [/QUOTE]
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