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I'm NOT picking it up! I'm just NOT!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 423939" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I dealt with the over-dramatic tantrums very early on and NONE of my kids have done that type of thing more than one time to me. I am the one who knew a bunch of people who worked in a dept store in a mall when Wiz was about 18 mos-2yrs old. He was just starting to try tantrums to get his way. I actually laid down on the floor in the shoe dept and kicked my feet and hit the floor and cried and fussed - took him less than 60 seconds for him to beg me to stop because I was "barassing" him (yes, Wiz had a huge vocabulary of big words by 18 mos - hyperlexia can be funny in little kids!)</p><p> </p><p>I have NEVER had to do more than ask him if he wants me to show him how to <em>really</em> throw a tantrum to get him to stop it. Mostly that even worked at home. </p><p> </p><p>Jess was 9 and handling the hormonal changes of puberty when she tried me. Again it was in a mall but I didn't know anyone at that one. I dumped a full cup of ice water on her head because she started yelling and whining for something and then tried to hit husband and ran away. I did get her a new outfit because it was freezing cold outside but it cost less than $5 total for shirt and pants from the clearance rack and she HATED them - but had to wear them for the 2 hrs it took to get home. </p><p> </p><p>thank you doesn't even dare to try it with me. heck, he won't even ask me to buy a comic book - says he will save his $$ for it if he wants it. Doesn't mean I don't get one now and then for him, but he watched me with his sibs enough to be rather scared to push me on things. </p><p> </p><p>I am sorry she is acting like a toddler. Isn't she the one who insisted on the little cats? Why not tell her that if it is that big a deal maybe you need to think about rehoming them? That used to put things into perspective for even my husband.</p><p> </p><p>I do like Lisa's method. It can be very effective. </p><p> </p><p>Just remember that it is HARD to come home from college, esp that first summer. For 9 months (more or less) you have been on your own, able to do what you want when you want (within reason), keep things as neat or messy as you want them. Then you come home and the family has a routine and you all have roles that you play. It is tough to break out of that daughter who has to follow the rules and is expected to do and say certain things (even if the role is "bad girl" or "difficult child" it still comes with expectations and pitfalls). It is even harder to negotiate your new role as semi-adult daughter who has run most of her life for the last 9 mos and has worked to define herself a certain way in the work - but comes home to the some old expectation and issues that were always there.</p><p> </p><p>no specific suggestions, but a lot of sympathy. I look back at the nutso things I did that first summer home from college and just wonder what alien slurped my brains out and why did he wait so long before giving them back? </p><p> </p><p>I owuld NOT pick up the lump though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 423939, member: 1233"] I dealt with the over-dramatic tantrums very early on and NONE of my kids have done that type of thing more than one time to me. I am the one who knew a bunch of people who worked in a dept store in a mall when Wiz was about 18 mos-2yrs old. He was just starting to try tantrums to get his way. I actually laid down on the floor in the shoe dept and kicked my feet and hit the floor and cried and fussed - took him less than 60 seconds for him to beg me to stop because I was "barassing" him (yes, Wiz had a huge vocabulary of big words by 18 mos - hyperlexia can be funny in little kids!) I have NEVER had to do more than ask him if he wants me to show him how to [I]really[/I] throw a tantrum to get him to stop it. Mostly that even worked at home. Jess was 9 and handling the hormonal changes of puberty when she tried me. Again it was in a mall but I didn't know anyone at that one. I dumped a full cup of ice water on her head because she started yelling and whining for something and then tried to hit husband and ran away. I did get her a new outfit because it was freezing cold outside but it cost less than $5 total for shirt and pants from the clearance rack and she HATED them - but had to wear them for the 2 hrs it took to get home. thank you doesn't even dare to try it with me. heck, he won't even ask me to buy a comic book - says he will save his $$ for it if he wants it. Doesn't mean I don't get one now and then for him, but he watched me with his sibs enough to be rather scared to push me on things. I am sorry she is acting like a toddler. Isn't she the one who insisted on the little cats? Why not tell her that if it is that big a deal maybe you need to think about rehoming them? That used to put things into perspective for even my husband. I do like Lisa's method. It can be very effective. Just remember that it is HARD to come home from college, esp that first summer. For 9 months (more or less) you have been on your own, able to do what you want when you want (within reason), keep things as neat or messy as you want them. Then you come home and the family has a routine and you all have roles that you play. It is tough to break out of that daughter who has to follow the rules and is expected to do and say certain things (even if the role is "bad girl" or "difficult child" it still comes with expectations and pitfalls). It is even harder to negotiate your new role as semi-adult daughter who has run most of her life for the last 9 mos and has worked to define herself a certain way in the work - but comes home to the some old expectation and issues that were always there. no specific suggestions, but a lot of sympathy. I look back at the nutso things I did that first summer home from college and just wonder what alien slurped my brains out and why did he wait so long before giving them back? I owuld NOT pick up the lump though. [/QUOTE]
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