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Parent Emeritus
I'm so disappointed in my 20 year & cannot even speak to him...help!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="DT121" data-source="post: 559866" data-attributes="member: 15495"><p>Hi Payla,</p><p></p><p>Thank you for your reply- it's very comforting to know I am not the only one going through this. Your story is very sad also, but I have to admit, I do not think I could be as strong as you for as long as you've been <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> It's very easy to fall into the trap of blaming myself and having a pity party, even though I know those feelings do not help. I've read a lot about enabling & detaching and believe you 100% about that not helping, but it sure is easy to do & so hard to stop. I love my son madly, but I don't like him and haven't for the last 2 years- it makes me so sad to say that. I believe he is still smoking pot and wouldn't be surprised if he was doing other drugs. One of MY biggest issues is, I would know kind of what to do if this 'boy-man' was the person I knew for 18 years, but this person isn't him- this person is a stranger. My husband, although very supportive to me & my son has said enough is enough & I agree. We are giving him & us some space today, since this just happened & then give a deadline to follow through with his promises. And the hardest part of all- for me to follow through with what I said would be the consequences if he doesn't do his part. I can say I've been through some trying times in my life, but this is by far the hardest & most heartbreaking. I'll keep a good thought for you and your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DT121, post: 559866, member: 15495"] Hi Payla, Thank you for your reply- it's very comforting to know I am not the only one going through this. Your story is very sad also, but I have to admit, I do not think I could be as strong as you for as long as you've been :( It's very easy to fall into the trap of blaming myself and having a pity party, even though I know those feelings do not help. I've read a lot about enabling & detaching and believe you 100% about that not helping, but it sure is easy to do & so hard to stop. I love my son madly, but I don't like him and haven't for the last 2 years- it makes me so sad to say that. I believe he is still smoking pot and wouldn't be surprised if he was doing other drugs. One of MY biggest issues is, I would know kind of what to do if this 'boy-man' was the person I knew for 18 years, but this person isn't him- this person is a stranger. My husband, although very supportive to me & my son has said enough is enough & I agree. We are giving him & us some space today, since this just happened & then give a deadline to follow through with his promises. And the hardest part of all- for me to follow through with what I said would be the consequences if he doesn't do his part. I can say I've been through some trying times in my life, but this is by far the hardest & most heartbreaking. I'll keep a good thought for you and your son. [/QUOTE]
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I'm so disappointed in my 20 year & cannot even speak to him...help!!!!
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