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I'm so discouraged...
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 305439" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>If cigarettes go to $50.00 a pack there American - write ME - I'll sell them to you for $30.00 and SHIP them for free. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> (HEY DO NOT SPANK ME ON THAT - GIRL's GOT TO MAKE A LIVING) - just kidding. </p><p> </p><p>Trish - </p><p> </p><p>Despite you being in Aussieland and us being in North America there is one thing that transcends oceans, mountains, language barriers, skies - and that is knowing that a Mother's love is deep, caring, nurturing....and tireless. His Lordship could be 50 years old ~ He'll still be your son. It's just somewhere along the way you hope he'll find his niche in life and have some of the normalcies and dreams you wished for him when he was smaller, and eventually realize that he has dreams of his own and has been given enough wings to accomplish some of those things for himself. </p><p> </p><p>When you are given a child with disabilities, there's no manual or guide, no one right way or wrong way - sometimes it's just dumb luck parenting that gets us through the worst of times. Fran often says hope for the best, but plan for the worst. That's saved me from falling apart many times with my own son's situations. Doesn't mean that I haven't fallen apart, good grief I had a stroke. It doesn't mean that I'll never fall apart again. Hopefully I won't. My wish for my family? That we've all grown up enough and detached enough to know where our personal boundaries are and respect those lines. </p><p> </p><p>I want my son to be happy, I want him to have dreams and goals and I want him to do these things on his own - OH HOW I WANT THAT. lol. But Trish - you know there was a time just such a short time ago when everyone had told us there was NO way he'd ever live without us in the picture and it mortified me. I'm tired. I didn't want to have a 30 year old adult child - It was like getting ripped off all over again. I mean I never got any of the norms in the lower grades - neither did her. It just seemed so unfair - and part of my taking SO long in therapy was to deal with all of THOSE issues and the anger from THOSE issues. It took a long time to admit most of them too - I figured THAT is what a Mom does. - Swallow and deal with everything. It's not. We're human - YOU are human. </p><p> </p><p>So "IF" you think I'm pointing or digging (thinking....) whatever the word is in Australia - I am. You're right. However; I'm doing it with the best of intentions as a friend who cares. BECAUSE when the things that you are going through happen to you and NO ONE says - DO YOU SEE THAT? You don't see it. And if you don't see something that needs a fix? How can you begin to heal? If you don't heal - How do things ever get any better? If things don't ever get any better? Things just stay the same. That's not what friends are for. FRIENDS tell you what they see - and take a chance that you may get angry with them, or be upset with their responses DESPITE what comes down the pike....because - THEY CARE. </p><p> </p><p>IF I just poo=poo an answer to you? I wouldn't be me. I'm also not pointing AT you. I'm sitting right next to you under a Eucalyptus tree, watching kangaroos hop by and giving you a huge hug because I couldn't tell you all this stuff unless I'd been there myself. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>One of the best words I've ever eliminated from my vocabulary? The word should. Live a much more decisive life now. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> Think of it this way - Should means: You do what you do when you do it because you think it is the BEST thing you can possibly do at that moment based on all your knowledge. </p><p>You do not do what you do when you do it because you think it is the ABSOLUTE WORST THING you can do otherwise you would not do it. So never say I should have...that only means you must have chose the absolute worst thing. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - I hope this helps. THat's all any of us here are for.....really. really.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 305439, member: 4964"] If cigarettes go to $50.00 a pack there American - write ME - I'll sell them to you for $30.00 and SHIP them for free. :raspberry-tounge: (HEY DO NOT SPANK ME ON THAT - GIRL's GOT TO MAKE A LIVING) - just kidding. Trish - Despite you being in Aussieland and us being in North America there is one thing that transcends oceans, mountains, language barriers, skies - and that is knowing that a Mother's love is deep, caring, nurturing....and tireless. His Lordship could be 50 years old ~ He'll still be your son. It's just somewhere along the way you hope he'll find his niche in life and have some of the normalcies and dreams you wished for him when he was smaller, and eventually realize that he has dreams of his own and has been given enough wings to accomplish some of those things for himself. When you are given a child with disabilities, there's no manual or guide, no one right way or wrong way - sometimes it's just dumb luck parenting that gets us through the worst of times. Fran often says hope for the best, but plan for the worst. That's saved me from falling apart many times with my own son's situations. Doesn't mean that I haven't fallen apart, good grief I had a stroke. It doesn't mean that I'll never fall apart again. Hopefully I won't. My wish for my family? That we've all grown up enough and detached enough to know where our personal boundaries are and respect those lines. I want my son to be happy, I want him to have dreams and goals and I want him to do these things on his own - OH HOW I WANT THAT. lol. But Trish - you know there was a time just such a short time ago when everyone had told us there was NO way he'd ever live without us in the picture and it mortified me. I'm tired. I didn't want to have a 30 year old adult child - It was like getting ripped off all over again. I mean I never got any of the norms in the lower grades - neither did her. It just seemed so unfair - and part of my taking SO long in therapy was to deal with all of THOSE issues and the anger from THOSE issues. It took a long time to admit most of them too - I figured THAT is what a Mom does. - Swallow and deal with everything. It's not. We're human - YOU are human. So "IF" you think I'm pointing or digging (thinking....) whatever the word is in Australia - I am. You're right. However; I'm doing it with the best of intentions as a friend who cares. BECAUSE when the things that you are going through happen to you and NO ONE says - DO YOU SEE THAT? You don't see it. And if you don't see something that needs a fix? How can you begin to heal? If you don't heal - How do things ever get any better? If things don't ever get any better? Things just stay the same. That's not what friends are for. FRIENDS tell you what they see - and take a chance that you may get angry with them, or be upset with their responses DESPITE what comes down the pike....because - THEY CARE. IF I just poo=poo an answer to you? I wouldn't be me. I'm also not pointing AT you. I'm sitting right next to you under a Eucalyptus tree, watching kangaroos hop by and giving you a huge hug because I couldn't tell you all this stuff unless I'd been there myself. :winking: One of the best words I've ever eliminated from my vocabulary? The word should. Live a much more decisive life now. :happy: Think of it this way - Should means: You do what you do when you do it because you think it is the BEST thing you can possibly do at that moment based on all your knowledge. You do not do what you do when you do it because you think it is the ABSOLUTE WORST THING you can do otherwise you would not do it. So never say I should have...that only means you must have chose the absolute worst thing. Hugs - I hope this helps. THat's all any of us here are for.....really. really. [/QUOTE]
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