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Parent Emeritus
I'm so torn and so sad
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 678371" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>I don't recommend "destructive" behavior coming from a parent. And at 20? He shouldn't be choosing the consequences. The legal system doesn't let you choose consequences, for the most part. Neither do bosses.</p><p> </p><p>It shouldn't be "do what I say" either.</p><p> </p><p>Try sitting down together - you and hubby - and come up with a list of behaviors that <em>every person in the home must abide by</em>. That goes for you and hubby and daughter, too, not just son. What are your expectations? You don't need a 100 rules. Respect would be one - for people and possessions. Internet use and behavior expectations. Cleanliness - personal hygene, use of kitchen, bathroom, cleaning up after yourself. Whether there is access to food outside of set meal and snack times (yes, goes for hubby too).</p><p> </p><p>Unless your son is on the autism spectrum somewhere, you don't need a consequence for every rule. He needs to look at the rules, and either decide he is prepared to live within them, or prepare to move out. It's not about "the next infraction". If possible, he needs to choose before the next infraction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 678371, member: 11791"] I don't recommend "destructive" behavior coming from a parent. And at 20? He shouldn't be choosing the consequences. The legal system doesn't let you choose consequences, for the most part. Neither do bosses. It shouldn't be "do what I say" either. Try sitting down together - you and hubby - and come up with a list of behaviors that [I]every person in the home must abide by[/I]. That goes for you and hubby and daughter, too, not just son. What are your expectations? You don't need a 100 rules. Respect would be one - for people and possessions. Internet use and behavior expectations. Cleanliness - personal hygene, use of kitchen, bathroom, cleaning up after yourself. Whether there is access to food outside of set meal and snack times (yes, goes for hubby too). Unless your son is on the autism spectrum somewhere, you don't need a consequence for every rule. He needs to look at the rules, and either decide he is prepared to live within them, or prepare to move out. It's not about "the next infraction". If possible, he needs to choose before the next infraction. [/QUOTE]
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I'm so torn and so sad
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