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Substance Abuse
I'm so very tired....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662481" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is my take. If you want to keep your marriage, put that above everything. If your wife will not act from your point of view, let her take control of and responsibility to do it her way. You can step aside, and not oppose either her or your son. Your wife will wear herself out.</p><p></p><p>I do not know if I would be ready to go to marital counseling, because that will be as if the marriage is the problem and not your son. It sounds like you are communicating but cannot come to agreement. Hey, I cannot come to agreement even within myself. That does not mean a marriage is in trouble. Unless it is. And that is a whole other mess of worms.</p><p></p><p>You can go to Al Anon. That is free. Your wife does not need to go. You go. You will get support and understanding apart from the family dynamic.</p><p>You are catastrophizing here. You can yield to your wife, always a good idea. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/youreright.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":youreright:" title="youreright :youreright:" data-shortname=":youreright:" /></p><p></p><p>You are not defeated here. This is just a cocky kid. You are bigger than this. Rest and yield. Let your wife take over. Not everything is solved by understanding and fixing it. Sometimes, these situations need magic and time.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. You keep dropping away and we worry about you. We are a source of support too.</p><p></p><p>I think maybe you are the sort of person who solves things, and feels it to be a personal failure if he cannot.</p><p></p><p>This is the kind of situation where that kind of thinking is a killer. Stop it. Do not be so hard on yourself. None of us have solved anything either and we are good and smart people too.</p><p></p><p>Our hearts and our hopes are with you. Remember that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662481, member: 18958"] This is my take. If you want to keep your marriage, put that above everything. If your wife will not act from your point of view, let her take control of and responsibility to do it her way. You can step aside, and not oppose either her or your son. Your wife will wear herself out. I do not know if I would be ready to go to marital counseling, because that will be as if the marriage is the problem and not your son. It sounds like you are communicating but cannot come to agreement. Hey, I cannot come to agreement even within myself. That does not mean a marriage is in trouble. Unless it is. And that is a whole other mess of worms. You can go to Al Anon. That is free. Your wife does not need to go. You go. You will get support and understanding apart from the family dynamic. You are catastrophizing here. You can yield to your wife, always a good idea. :youreright: You are not defeated here. This is just a cocky kid. You are bigger than this. Rest and yield. Let your wife take over. Not everything is solved by understanding and fixing it. Sometimes, these situations need magic and time. Keep posting. You keep dropping away and we worry about you. We are a source of support too. I think maybe you are the sort of person who solves things, and feels it to be a personal failure if he cannot. This is the kind of situation where that kind of thinking is a killer. Stop it. Do not be so hard on yourself. None of us have solved anything either and we are good and smart people too. Our hearts and our hopes are with you. Remember that. [/QUOTE]
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