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Substance Abuse
I'm so very tired....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696858" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Good rule of thumb. Wait a year in the real world before you believe your child is sober. I agree with GN on the driving issue. It is too dangerous to everyone. Our kids could be killed or kill. Sadly, I saw the risk.</p><p></p><p>There are so many ways to get food for free that any money sent for food is extra money for the newly sober person to be tempted to use/buy drugs. Food is never a problem. The money is not all spent on food, if at all.</p><p></p><p>I would have sold the car. Once my kid wrecked our van, she never again drove our cars. Some misguided friends let her drive their vehicles and they saw her wreck them. She owed one women $14k from an accident where a woman was hurt in one of her accidents. Her Dad paid off that debt but that was after she'd been sober and working three years and had a loan out while going to school. She had been paying until then. She has had no accidents since sobriety. Sometimes she has a drink (she can drink responsibly and doesn't often) but does not drive even if she only has one beer. This is twelve years out now.</p><p></p><p>Your son can do this He can. But it is way too soon for him to stay sober if he is tempted. This is normal. It takes a lot of time before he can ( or any addict) can have money or be around drugs and say no. Many can never drink either . My daughter is one who can but she doesn't very often.</p><p></p><p>One step at a time. My daughter did not quit the first three times she tried either. She was like your son...she needed many stops and starts Addiction is not fast or easy. And we enabled at first too. I think we all do. But we didnt enable with money or cars. She did work so she had her own money...she likely did buy drugs while under our roof, but we were be living naively thay she had quit until one day I found a bong in our yard. She claimed it was planted there to get her in trouble.</p><p></p><p>It is not wise to believe an addict will not use again after being clean for a few months. It takes so much longer.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. You have come far.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696858, member: 1550"] Good rule of thumb. Wait a year in the real world before you believe your child is sober. I agree with GN on the driving issue. It is too dangerous to everyone. Our kids could be killed or kill. Sadly, I saw the risk. There are so many ways to get food for free that any money sent for food is extra money for the newly sober person to be tempted to use/buy drugs. Food is never a problem. The money is not all spent on food, if at all. I would have sold the car. Once my kid wrecked our van, she never again drove our cars. Some misguided friends let her drive their vehicles and they saw her wreck them. She owed one women $14k from an accident where a woman was hurt in one of her accidents. Her Dad paid off that debt but that was after she'd been sober and working three years and had a loan out while going to school. She had been paying until then. She has had no accidents since sobriety. Sometimes she has a drink (she can drink responsibly and doesn't often) but does not drive even if she only has one beer. This is twelve years out now. Your son can do this He can. But it is way too soon for him to stay sober if he is tempted. This is normal. It takes a lot of time before he can ( or any addict) can have money or be around drugs and say no. Many can never drink either . My daughter is one who can but she doesn't very often. One step at a time. My daughter did not quit the first three times she tried either. She was like your son...she needed many stops and starts Addiction is not fast or easy. And we enabled at first too. I think we all do. But we didnt enable with money or cars. She did work so she had her own money...she likely did buy drugs while under our roof, but we were be living naively thay she had quit until one day I found a bong in our yard. She claimed it was planted there to get her in trouble. It is not wise to believe an addict will not use again after being clean for a few months. It takes so much longer. Good luck. You have come far. [/QUOTE]
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